"And the State of the Union is..."

... what?

I just listened to President Obama drone on and on... he blamed the previous administration for the state of our country... he blamed congress and repeatedly encouraged them to put bills on his desk for one thing or another... and then he basically said that he intended to do whatever he wants, with or without the support of the rest of our government. He actually asked for more power.

About 70 minutes into the speech, he closed proclaiming that the state of the union will always be strong. Really? Hmmm...

There is a lot I could say. The truth is, I almost voted for the man. Maybe I was drunk. That's pretty unlikely, since I've never had an alcoholic drink in my life, but I'm grasping at straws here...

I struggle, even now, because I have always believed that we should have a healthy respect for the leaders of our government... even if we don't agree with them... but I just don't have that kind of respect for President Obama. I want him out of office. Period.

I shared on facebook several months ago about how Seth and Grace are involved in a Black History Club through their on-line school, and when asked what the best thing President Obama could do for our country was, Seth responded, "leave"! I said it then, and I'll say it now... The mother in me who tries to teach respect for leadership was somewhat taken aback. The conservative in me walked out of the room, closed the door (so as not to be seen by the children), and laughed hysterically. And maybe there was a fist pump or two...

That's not how I want to view the President of the United States. It just isn't.

Of all the things I could mention from this State of the Union Address, the one that struck me as the most ridiculous was this. President Obama actually said, "What's happening in Detroit can happen in other industries"! He said this as if it would be a good thing. I was dumbfounded.

Because, you see... I'm from Detroit. I love Detroit. And I have watched as many of my Michigan friends and family members have struggled under the worst of economic situations over the past few years. We want the whole country to be like Detroit? Wow...

I have yet to make a decision about who I will be casting my ballot for in the GOP primary. Maybe by the time we get to our primary I won't have a decision to make. My candidate of choice has been out for some time now, and no one who is left in the race is inspiring me all that much. But we've got to come together and make a good decision. Our future depends on it.

Lisa

Painting the "Nursery"...

I'm 32 years old, and my fifth child is almost two. Why am I painting a nursery you might ask... (You also might not ask, but that is the question I'm going to answer...)

Many of you probably already know that I struggled with postpartum depression after Miah was born. For those of you who have been reading this blog for a long time, you are probably sick of posts that begin with, "Many of you probably already know... blah... blah... blah..." But it's relevant here...

One very vivid memory I have from the first week or so after bringing Miah home is rocking her and crying about how the crib and rocking chair were in our bedroom and how I had no room in the house that I could decorate as a nursery for her. I know... I know... the really tragic stuff life is made of, right? But I was not in a very stable state of mind.

A lot of people suggested that we should move Miah in with Grace, but I just couldn't kick the thought of a Disney princess shoe... or a beaded bracelet... or a piece of belly button lint falling into the crib and then finding its way to Miah's little mouth. And even if we had created a shared living space for the girls, I doubt that Grace would have wanted a flower garden nursery... with a little picket fence... and owls... Miah stayed with us.

Well... almost two years later (how can that be), we have rearranged the house in such a way that Grace has her new "pre-teen" looking, cooler than anything bedroom, and Miah is finally going to have her own room.

Any logical person would just move Miah's belongings into the very nice room that Grace has vacated. In fact, when we devised this plan, Phil even said, "Well... you won't have to paint in Miah's room since it's already decorated for a girl." Yeah... well... He kinda got a lecture after that one...

I'm not going to cry about it anymore (although I did get a little teary about some other things while painting, today, which I will share in another post, soon, about letting go as your children grow), but I really want to decorate that "perfect" baby girl nursery that I have always wanted. And so I'm going for it. And I really hope Miah loves it until Grace turns 18 and goes to college, because the chances of her convincing me to paint over it... again... any time soon are really slim (please read "non-existent").

Today all I managed to get done was the primer. The room is primed, and so are my arms and one of my legs. Although I showered for a really long time, I cannot get the paint off. I am going to look awesome at church in the morning...

As this project progresses, I will make updates. And I hope the finished product is amazing, because if it's not you're going to have to lie about how much you love the pictures...

L.

I Just Had...

... the best fight I've had on facebook in a long time.

Yeah... that wasn't so fun.

Here's the irony...

The last "fight" I had was because apparently I do not understand the concept of submission... as in I am not submissive enough... think women have more God given "rights" than they do... am living with too much freedom... and do not understand women's roles (uh... pastor's wife... stay at home, homeschooling mom of 5... yeah...)

This one was because apparently I do not understand the concept of submission... as in I am too submissive... have given over all of my God given "rights" to my husband... am living as a slave... and do not understand women's roles (uh... pastor's wife... stay at home homeschooling mom of 5... and loving it... yeah...)

The funniest parts about all of this are that:
1. My views and lifestyle haven't changed at all between "fights".
2. None of this had anything to do with my husband, and we are very happy.
3. The post got deleted.

Can I just say, "In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity" (Augustine... or Wesley... or Bresee... Let's face it, nobody really knows who said it first).

L.

There's A First Time For Everything...

... and there goes my perfect record.

I have never been pulled over by a police officer... until tonight.

I was driving Grace to cheerleading practice, and there is a stretch of road that has notoriously badly timed yellow lights. Usually, I can stop in time (or at the very least hit the gas and get through the light in time), but tonight... in the Nazarene Limousine... with slick stuff falling on the ground... I hesitated to make my decision about whether to slam the brakes or gun it...

In the end, it was one of those moments where you know you're not really going to get through the light before it turns red, but you can't safely stop either. Ordinarily, no problem, except as I looked to my left I noticed that... oh, crap... there was a Sheriff's car stopped in the turn lane...

Well... I managed to stop right in the middle of the intersection... nice.

It occurred to me that I could just sit there looking like an idiot, or I could get out of the way... effectively running the red light. I don't generally think it is wise to sit in the middle of an intersection, so I opted to drive through.

And to be honest, I couldn't really tell you if I pulled over before or after the lights started flashing, because it was so painfully obvious that I was going to get pulled over, resistance was futile...

In the moments it took for the officer to get to my window, I thought about all the stories I have heard about women breaking into tears to avoid tickets. But I was so stinking irritated that it occurred to me that I would never be able to pull it off. Instead, I put the car in park (I think I forgot to turn it off), pulled my license out, and waited.

When the officer got to my window (after shining a light in my van of all things... yeah... I guess the fact that my 10 year old daughter was the only passenger must have clued him in that I wasn't smuggling illegal aliens or anything), I decided to speak first. I simply said, "I'm sorry sir. I tried to stop, but I couldn't". Then I slipped my license out the window (which he gave a cursory glance but did not take).

He asked if I knew why I couldn't stop in time. I told him I didn't, because I was going the speed limit. He told me I was going slightly over the speed limit and that I had not applied my break in time. I so wanted to respond with either, "duh," or, "yeah, my husband says I never apply the break quickly enough." Thankfully, both of these responses eluded me at the time.

After a somewhat long-suffering look, he said, "I'm just on my way home. This one's on me. Everyone saw you run the light, so they expected me to pull you over."

It was about all I could do not to laugh...

But I didn't...

I just said, "Thank you, sir."

And off I went...

I'd like to go another 16 years before being pulled over again, though...

Knock on wood...

Lisa

P.S. I think Grace found the whole thing quite amusing (usually she just gets pulled over with Daddy), and she is the one who gave this post a title...

A Sobering Thought...

Recently, I made a post on facebook encouraging "kids" to go to college in the first four years following high school graduation and to actually attain their degrees during that time. I'm going to stand by that... for everyone else...

But as I sat down to work on the final week of this semester... and as I started thinking about how after this course I will have only three left until I hold that all powerful piece of paper in my hand... I also started thinking about how my life would be different if I'd done this in a more "traditional" way...

And it occurred to me that that just never would have worked. Because I wouldn't have these:

And "these" are more precious to me than any "normal", "traditional" life ever... EVER could have been...

And so let me make it clear that I wouldn't trade taking 15 years to get my bachelor's degree for anything... ANYTHING in the world...

But I'd like my Master's in two...

L.

I Don't "Do" Sick Well...

... I have probably mentioned this before.

As you may recall, our whole family took turns being sick on our recent vacation. This did not stop upon our arrival home. In fact, early (sort of) yesterday morning, I found myself sitting with Miah at Redi-med... waiting to be seen for our nasty congestion...

Verdict was... upper respiratory infections... and croup... and bronchitis... nice.

So we came home and pulled out the sofa bed, where I crashed for the day and attempted to remain coherent enough at sporadic intervals to help Seth, Grace, and Caleb finish up their first semester work; to remind Ian not to sit too close to me or he would catch my germs; and to peek at Miah who systematically disassembled her entire high chair while sitting in it and watching Blue's Clues (the kid is going to be an engineer)...

I have heard of these amazing women who prepare five course meals while sick. My kids had hot pockets... made by Grace...

Phil brought us antibiotics and steroids and took Seth and Caleb to basketball practice. Other than that, I have absolutely no idea what kinds of things went on in this house yesterday.

The truth is, when I'm sick I really want to snuggle down under the covers in my nice warm, dark room and sleep all day. This is, however, not an option for a mother of five...

I have a pretty decent pain tolerance (as is evidenced by the fact that I delivered four of those five children without pain medication), but being sick... It's just not for me...

And here I sit, tonight... some 36 hours after the Redi-med visit... still feeling grouchy and nasty...

Good thing my family rocks...

L.

Thursday Theology 1...

Accountability is not what most people think it is…

For some time now, I have been pondering this…

On a fairly regular basis, I hear (or see) people using Matthew 7:1 out of context: “Do not judge or you too will be judged” (NIV).

Let’s look a little deeper into this passage:

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:1-5, NIV)

More often than not, people get upset when someone who has no relationship with them and no right, whatsoever, to offer their advice on the way they should be living makes a statement that the former is living in sin and going to Hell. Almost without pause, that first person shouts out something to the effect of, “Well… you’re not so great, either. Don’t you know the Bible tells you not to judge others!” (They may or may not be able to pull the Matthew 7:1 reference). The other person generally gets offensive and offers proof text examples of Jesus calling people out in their sin which, of course, gives us the right to do the same, right?

Maybe not…

Let’s look, strictly at what the passage says, verse by verse…

Again, Matthew 7:1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (NIV). There are actually two concepts going on here. The first, “Do not judge,” appears to be a command of some sort, but it is followed by a consequence, so I think we can assume that the premise is that people do, indeed, judge. You could just as easily say, “Do not eat too much chocolate, or you will get fat.” In reality, the second part of the verse might sum up the concept better than the first. “When you judge, you’re going to be judged, too.” Does this give us unlimited freedom to judge? Uh… no. It doesn’t give us unlimited freedom to eat chocolate, either, but let’s just be clear; both actions result in consequences…

Matthew 7:2 “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (NIV). This verse deals with exactly what those consequences will be. So perhaps we need to think about how we judge others. What if we condemn people to Hell because of their actions? Does it not follow that we also, then, condemn ourselves to Hell? Ouch. What if, instead of assassinating character, we make some discerning choices and go to people with whom we have a relationship and attempt to help them to judge their own actions and then work with them to reconcile their lifestyle to God? I would welcome that kind of judgment in my own life, and isn’t that also what Jesus models?

Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (NIV). This verse calls us to humble living. Although I come from a branch of Christian theology that believes wholeheartedly in holiness and sanctification, let us not forget that to be sanctified is to be set apart; not to live life without error. This is no excuse, whatsoever, for sin, but we absolutely cannot attempt to teach others about holy living without first recognizing our own dependence on the Holy Spirit, cleansing us making us new every day as we choose to follow. Recognition of our own failures is essential to life in Christian community. (As a sidenote, I also am not very fond of people with planks who try to scratch out MYsawdust. Therefore, I cannot expect others to be…)

Matthew 7:4 “How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” (NIV). Preposterous, right? But here’s the thing about that… Many times people recognize their sin and choose to ask God to bless them in it rather than asking Him to eradicate it and fill them with God’s very self. Recognizing sin is not enough. You must deal with it. (And again, I am talking about dealing with your own sin… with my own sin… not with your neighbor’s sin. That would completely miss the point.)

Matthew 7:4 “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (NIV). And now we’re getting somewhere. It is only when you have dealt with your own sin and made things right with God that you have any ability to help your brother. Think about the attitude with which this is done, though…

I often relate theological ideas to my life as a parent. What would I do if one of my children approached me after a long day outside and had sand in his eyes. For the sake of concise writing, let’s say it was Ian. If Ian came into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and crying because they were burning, would I get up in his face and start yelling at him about how irresponsible he is… and how he knows better than to rub sand into his eyes because he’s heard the rules a thousand times… and how he’ll probably be blind unless he figures out on his own how to get it out? Would I then walk away from him in harsh judgment, turning my back and never thinking twice about what the result might be? Would I hold him up as an example to my other children and ridicule him for his bad decisions?

The obvious answer to these questions is no! Any loving parent would not react in this way! Instead, I would bring him to the kitchen sink, wash his face, search his little eyes for any remaining traces of sand, maybe get the eye washing cup out if it was a particularly bad case of sand in the eyes, and even go as far to run him to the ER if the situation was beyond what I could handle. I would hold him and comfort him, and certainly offer ice, because that fixes everything in this house. And quite honestly, when he was OK again, I would go over the rules of sand safety and do everything in my power to help him avoid this kind of trauma in the future.

Could anyone look at that scenario and assert that I was harsh and unloving? I certainly hope not.

But there are some key points that make this work. First of all, I love Ian. We have a relationship. I want, fiercely, to protect him and to teach him things that will help him to grow up happy and healthy in every area of his life. If the same thing happened to a random kid I hardly knew, sure I would get the sand out and make sure he was OK, but the chances that it would be an event that shaped the kid’s life are pretty slim. You have to know and care about someone to make a lasting impact on his life.

Second of all, Ian loves and trusts me. If that aforementioned random kid’s mother was present, I would have no right to take him out of his mother’s arms and administer help as I saw fit. You have to know your place, and the truth is; you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help.

This is particularly hard for me, because I have a super-hero complex. I legitimately want to save the world. But someone far, far greater than me already did that…

Now, it must be noted that there are an awful lot of people out there who say they are looking for accountability, but that’s not really what they’re looking for. Instead, many people are legitimately looking for friends who will back up their decisions and always stand in their corner, regardless of whether or not what they are doing is right. I think this is a human desire. I don’t know anyone who always wants to be the object of scrutiny among friends. But you must be careful if you attempt to mentor such a person, because your effort may be futile… in fact, your effort probably will be futile. Just remember, in these cases, that there is a time to let go…

And also keep in mind that you cannot offer spiritual direction to others very effectively if you do not also take spiritual direction from others… Everyone who aspires to follow Christ must have people who come along beside them to lift them up and help them to work through their own unique set of life issues. That’s being the body…

L.

Soundbite Blogging...

My online social presence actually began with blogging. I have never been very successful at keeping a journal, but somehow it became exciting to share all of my mishaps with the world. It began on a little site called xanga (at some point I still hope to transfer all of those posts to this blog). Ironically, the beginnings of my blogging experience had a lot to do with people who had no idea that xanga was public... feel the sarcasm... but enough about that...

As social networking grew, the blogging population shrank... considerably... And I have said it before, and I'll say it again, this is really, really sad...

I mean... anyone can check in at McDs... send a text about the unsalted fries... update their status to reflect the frustration of having to send an on-line assignment in... and tweet that they are drinking Pepsi... while surfing youtube for the latest movie preview... simultaneously... (and by "anybody", I do not mean me)...

In all of these soundbites of life, we find that we can locate anyone... at anytime... and we know which McDs to avoid... which colleges assign too much work... and which entertainment venues to look forward to... but we have lost the stories of life...

And so with that thought, I have decided to make a concerted effort to blog every day this year. So far I'm 11/11! There was a time when I wouldn't post a blog if it wasn't detailed enough... interesting enough... meaningful enough... but it occurred to me at some point that I have been posting status updates that are one liners, so even if I don't have the time to create a full fledged story there is probably something worth saying everyday...

And for today, that's it...

But tomorrow I am going to try to branch out as I offer my first "Thursday Theology"...

Keep Reading (please)!

L.

Back to Upward...

Tonight was Grace's first cheerleading practice of the season...

Have I ever mentioned that I love Upward?

I was involved in a community cheerleading "league" for 6 years as a kid. It was a lot of fun and the absolute only thing I have ever been able to do in the realm of athletic activity. So, I naturally hoped that my daughters would be cheerleaders someday, too...

Unfortunately, most of the cheerleading options that now exist (even for really little girls) tend to be on the sleazy side, if you ask me... which you didn't... but this is my blog after all...

I love that Upward cheerleading teaches character and the importance of Christlikeness...

I love that my 10 year old is fully clothed and not expected to be invisible behind a wall of make-up while jumping around a gymnasium, giving high fives, and screaming her lungs out...

I love that the volunteers for our Upward league are people that I want my child to look up to and emulate...

Thank You!

L.

Just When I Think...

... I'm not going to have anything interesting to say today, Ian surprises me right at bedtime...

He says, "Mom there's something that you're going to have to help me build (pause) tomorrow (pause) at 10:00...

And of course I say, with great anticipation and an attempt to hide my laugh, "What?

To which Ian responds, "An amusement park!"

Well... I guess I have my work cut out for me, now, don't I?

I found it very interesting that Ian was so specific. Sometimes I feel like he must think that he needs to make an appointment to get my attention, particularly on a day filled with schoolwork for three older siblings and a somewhat cranky, demanding little sister who still has a cold... Not that Ian ever gets lost in the chaos... he makes sure of that... but still the very fact that he has this planned right down to the time was telling.

And I find myself thinking, "At least we got to read a bedtime story, just the two of us, tonight... and I wonder what kinds of cool things I could build in an amusement park, because surely he won't envision any rides that go up and down!"

Lisa