I Used To Love...

Blogging… and Social Networking…

I have always been a little streaky with the blogging, but there were many periods of time in which I logged on at least a couple of times every week to share reviews, funny life stories, theological insights, song lyrics, and quotes from my kids. I’ve never had a lot of readers, but I’ve had a few, and the interaction has been fun.

The advent of social networking added a new dimension to my virtual life, and since becoming fully obsessed with facebook, in particular, I have often had a chance to reconnect with long lost friends, send up a prayer for needs I would not have otherwise known existed, offer a birthday wish, and share some pictures.

Lately, though, both blogging and social networking have lost their luster for me…

And the reasoning is kind of sad…

Let me start with a shocking revelation I had today…

If one more person so much as hints at the idea that I’m going to Hell in a handbasket because I don’t fall into the Calvinist/Reformed branch of Western Industrialized Christianity, let me tell ya… I might just give them a very good reason to believe it!

For a long time now, I’ve been planning to write a book (OK… another book). This one was to have its premise in the relationships I’ve had over the years. It was to be a narrative on why I believe what I believe. It was going to be a really fun project. I hope… I really hope… that it still is. But I cannot begin this work without willing participants. I want to interact with other people in this book. I want to challenge those with opposing viewpoints, and I want them to challenge me. And at the end of the day, I want to share a few laughs over coffee… or ice cream… reminisce about the years of friendship we’ve shared… embrace… and walk away still friends rather than hardened enemies who cannot see eye to eye on anything at all. I am afraid to start the project, because I fear that I don’t actually have a relationship with many people who can engage in heated debate and thoughtful discussion without spitting in my face and cursing the ground I walk on. And these are my friends…

But what do I really have to lose, right?

And so it begins…

I am looking for about 12-15 friends to share in a literary journey with me. I want to discuss hot topics. I think I kind of want to fight a little bit. But I want it all to happen very respectfully. I want to interact with people who have actually formed and shaped my life and beliefs as well as with people whose lives and beliefs I have played a part in forming and shaping (if any of these such people exist). I need to interact with people from differing worldviews and belief systems in order to make this an authentic work. And everybody has to be completely respectful, both to me and to the others involved in the project, no matter how much we disagree.

I am going to send “invitations” to this project to some specific people, but I also want to just put it out there for those who read my ramblings and might wish to join in this adventure. I am going to limit this to 12-15 people, as I said, because I want to share a somewhat in depth look into my relationship with each person and how it has affected my worldview. Please don’t feel offended or anything if you’re not “selected”. It may be that I already have somebody on board who fits your particular profile pretty well, and I am definitely striving for diversity here. Still… if you’re interested… let me know.

Here we go…

Again…

Lisa

You're So Vain...

You probably think this post is about you…

And maybe it is…

And maybe it’s not…

I think I am still kind of egocentric. All of the psychology classes I’ve taken make it pretty clear that I should have outgrown this… oh… about a dozen years ago… but I haven’t… not completely…

The vast majority of the time, I think this is just a result of my overactive imagination that must somehow desire to be a people pleaser, deep down inside, even though I have never, ever been a people pleaser… in my whole life… ever.

I am, however, much better than I used to be at actually recognizing that other people exist and then going out of my way to help them in whatever way possible. It doesn’t come naturally to me, but I have learned to do it, because people matter. And I don’t want to sit here patting my own back all day long, but anybody who really knows me also knows that I will run myself into the ground for the sake of others, and that I would give someone the shirt off my back if they needed it. Again… no credit to me… I haven’t always been this way… And, again… I have to think about it. It takes effort on my part… I am no angel…

But I do like helping people.

I’m going to be frank and admit that sometimes I get over-committed and it makes for a negative outcome for all of my work. I get whiny and start to complain. I am the first to admit that I do not “do tired” well… and I do not “do sick” well… and I am a picky eater! These can be pretty serious limitations. I do work hard, though… and I give 150%... and I am often the first one to arrive and the last one to leave (except for maybe my husband who works harder than anyone I know).

A little over two months ago, I decided to take a break. Actually, one of these days I am going to come back and dissect the phrase “take a break”, because it has grown a life of it’s own, and I really hate the phrase, but I did, indeed, decide to cut back on some (a lot) of my volunteer activities.

It was necessary, because I am currently very hugely pregnant and not feeling that amazingly great… (Please see above… does not do sick and tired well…)

The “people pleaser wannabe” in me wants to make a list, now, of all of the activities I have continued to participate in (sometimes against my better judgment or that of my doctor… who is my friend… so I can’t get away with as much as I might like… she will catch me)!

But it just occurred to me that I don’t owe anybody a list…

What I will say is this…

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA!”

There… I have said it… In fact I have yelled it in all caps… almost feels like the Lisa of old who didn’t mind if she stepped on a few toes (and seriously… If I stepped on your toes right now… It would hurt)…

I have learned… over many years of ministry… how to be humble (yep… I just said I’m humble… took that right from Moses…). And I have learned what it means to really care about people and the kinds of interactions and relationships that you must have with people in order to become a credible influence in their lives. I have learned to push… and to push… and to push until that amazing moment when you see someone finally grasp what it means to really follow Christ with their whole life. And I have learned to back off when it isn’t the right time. The hardest lesson I have learned is that I can’t force anything… on anyone… and that it’s not my job to save the world.

I have learned… to learn… from people who are older… and wiser… and more experienced than I am. And then I learned that lesson… again… when I thought I had it figured out… again. I have learned to take something positive from everyone I meet.

I have learned… to teach… people who are younger… and less knowledgeable… and inexperienced. And I know, with certainty, that if any of them are reading this, they may be offended… because I used to be there… I have learned to give something positive to everyone who will take it.

Everyone basically has a choice to make in life. It doesn’t have anything to do with whether you are a pessimist… or an optimist… an introvert… or an extrovert… It doesn’t even have anything to do with your personality or the way you were raised. Everyone has a choice whether to be part of the problem or part of the solution.

The way I see it, most people have no difficulty finding fault with the world. This is just human nature. But it’s what we do with those faults that really matters. And look… I know I’m not the answer… and neither are you…

But I’m all about transformation… And I’m all about making everybody welcome… and that’s a harder promise to fulfill all the time… But that’s primarily because people get selfish…

Ah… age old issue…

Lisa

Stepping Back...

... To Evaluate

Wow. I did a little bit of "begging" to get people to come vote in my poll this time around, and I think I'm a bit shocked by the results...

The people I have known the longest (primarily family) are visiting my blog... Not the shocking part...

Friends that I have known for over a decade are visiting my blog... Not the shocking part...

People I have known for only a short time, and who I am now in contact with on a weekly basis, are visiting my blog... now that they know it exists... Still, not the shocking part...

NO ONE who has known me between one and ten years is visiting my blog! (Or at the very least, they're not taking my polls...) Insert flashing lights here...

This has caused me to stop and think (yeah, in the words of Dora...) about the past ten years of my life. Have they really had absolutely no impact at all, outside the walls of my own home? I sure didn't think this was the case. I mean, I do still have contact with a lot of people that I've met over the past ten years...

Maybe it's just been the inconsistency of it all...

Or maybe I'm just over-thinking this...

Or maybe I'm not...

Any thoughts?

Lisa