Vomit...

... is apparently the theme of my day.

I know, I know.  You don't want to know.  Really?  You're still reading...

I literally did vomit, this morning, after biting into what I thought was an omelet stuffed with cheese but what ended up being an omelet stuffed with something else altogether.  I think it might have been salsa.  I think I might have sensory issues.  At any rate, not the best way to start my day.

Then I wrote about vomit... no kidding... in a story that I'm working on.  Bet you can't wait to read that one...

And finally, a friend of mine mentioned to me that I might be vomiting my feelings all over the Internet.  And she was absolutely right.  I am.  On a daily basis.  And, here I go again...

I legitimately hate drama (the bad kind, not the, "Hey it's a musical!" kind).  For years I have walked around shaking my head and wondering why some people seem to thrive on it.  My preference would be to never be in crisis.  It just would.  But something awful occurred to me, today (soul care days sometimes do this to you, fair warning).  Sometimes when we have been dealing with a crisis for an extended period of time, it almost becomes easier to keep dealing with it than to let it go.  This must be why people hold on to their drama.  It is comfortable, convoluted as that might sound.  It becomes a part of us.  But I don't think it has to be this way.

I think, whenever possible, the best thing to do is to communicate with the people in your life who are causing you to struggle.  Let's be real, friends.  That's not always possible for a variety of reasons.  Today, I have been thinking about friendships that have just run their course, and let me be the first to say, it is a terrible thing to think about for too long.  I don't like it when friendships end.  I guess nobody does, but it is the absolute worst when they end without closure, when they just sort of fade away and you don't know why... and they don't know why... and nobody knows why... or everybody knows why but nobody wants to talk about it. 

When that happens, I'm pretty sure I write... incessantly... in code, because let's be real (again), I'm actually not nearly as real as I'd like to be.  Honest, yes.  But honest people can not say a lot of things, too..

Which, I guess, is exactly what I just did... again...

L.

I Have Been...

... far too extrinsically motivated lately.

Seriously, I don't even know myself anymore when I am starting to think I could possibly be exhibiting signs of extroversion...

And I'm even posting about it on a public blog...

Which must mean I need attention...

Awkward...

L.

And the Girls' Rooms...

... are unpacked!

This was no easy task, and I'm struggling with lack of space, among other things, today.  I finally just shoved half of Grace's stuff into the garage.  She was pretty understanding.  I would imagine that had something to do with the fact that I had just moved her bed, from the garage, by myself.  For anyone who thought it wouldn't fit... it fits! 

I think I got pretty spoiled owning my dream house for the past six years.  Even though I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that God was preparing me for this very house (the closest house possible to the place where I felt compelled to come home), I am having a difficult time adjusting to renting, even "short term".  It's OK.  I'll get over it.  First world problems...

Grace's Room:

Miah's Room:

 L.

Smart Women...

... tell no tales. 

Well, OK...  maybe not no tales, but I don't have time for too many at the moment.

A few pictures, I do have:

Found a double-headed monster...  oh... wait:

"The Hobbits" getting ready to quiz:

Oh, Seth...  We can onlyh assume he is saying, "Yoooooooooke":

After seven rounds of quizzing, NEI is seeded 1st.  Grace is currently sitting in 6th place, and I do not think it is possible for her to not make the top 16 to quiz off for a spot at General Assembly.  Seth is currently sitting in 16th place, about which I have mixed feelings.  It is my hope that he will have a great 8th round and jump up a couple of places, but much of what will determine his final placement is well beyond his control... or mine... so I am not holding my breath.

Let me just say this...  Both of these kids of mine have far exceeded any possible expectation we could have had for them in this rookie year of quizzing!  I have mentioned it before, but the truth is we didn't really go into this with any expectations, at all, except to get their feet wet and to hopefully develop a love of quizzing that would last throughout middle school... high school... and OK, let's face it, hopefully their whole lives.  But competitively, we have not pushed them.  They were simply born with the Q gene... or something... must be dominant...

Can't wait to see what they do in future years... and... uh... the rest of this weekend...

L.

I Feel Great...

... after writing words that I'm not going to post, because I still have some social filters left.

Here's the part of my day I still feel inclined to share...

I feel like this day started a hundred years ago.  I’m tired.  And yet I wished for a few moments of quiet in the middle of the night to get these thoughts out, and here I sit…

Let’s start with Ian’s last Upward game for the season.  Even though his teammates gave him the ball over… and over… and over again, the kid just doesn’t shoot.  He likes to pass.  He is the king of assists.  One of the referees even lifted him up to make a basket, today, and Ian laughed hysterically and dropped the ball!  I love that kid.  He did earn an offense star for his t-shirt, today, as well as a star for Christlikeness.  Rolling his eyes, Ian said, “Another Christlikeness star?”  This led to a conversation, amidst contained laughter, about how he should want to be Christ-like all the time!  Unless Ian makes a 180 between today and next season, I don’t think he’ll play basketball again.  He really did enjoy his coaches and the other kids, and they were great, but Ian doesn’t love basketball.  What Ian loves is drinking Gatorade on Saturdays…

He did get a shot off at the end.

You can see from the angle here that it didn't go,

but it's all good.

Seth and Grace had a big day at their first District Celebrate Life!  Seth entered a drawing and received an excellent rating, so it will go on to Regionals.  Grace did a piano solo, which received a superior rating and a vocal solo, which received an excellent, so both of these events advance, as well!  In addition, they were recognized for their fourth place finish as a zone quiz team and for their individual places from two weeks ago.  As it turns out, one of the district A team members has decided to play volleyball at RCL, so Seth gets to move up, and both he and Grace will quiz on the A team at regionals! 

 Here’s the haul from today:

And oh…  Caleb who had a rough basketball season seems to be the only family member talented enough to catch flying t-shirts…  

 I think he’s going to have to grow into this one:  

L.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up...

It's been a challenging week...

With no hope of things slowing down.

Last weekend, we had a great time with Brad, Sheri, Abby, and Noah. We dragged them around to all of our various activities, and they were wonderful guests. I posed them in ridiculously tight spots and funny body contortions, and we came out with some great portraits. The weekend was great... until dinner time...

At which point, Seth choked on some shells and cheese... and I mean really choked. But he wasn't having trouble breathing or anything, so although we were concerned, we decided to just kind of observe him for awhile.

Well... by midnight, he still hadn't been able to get anything down... not food... not water... not even spit.

I took him to the ER.

To make a long story, and a long night, short... After a CAT scan, 8 hours in the ER, about half an hour of sleep that nearly resulted in me falling off the chair in the ER, listening to a police officer scream at an inmate who was there for some medical reason, watching some seriously sick and injured people come through, hearing the medivac helicopter, seeing Seth endure an IV and watching him spit and puke all night... Seth had to have a scope put down his throat to have the macaroni and cheese removed.

If the medical staff thought I was nuts at first, they were very nice to me afterward, and even showed me the evidence that I was, indeed, correct in my original assessment that my 11 year old had pasta stuck in his esophagus.

It wasn't a very good night.

This was followed by a sleepy day (that did include a nap, but not a long enough one), and then we plunged in to the "regular" activities of the week...

I am currently taking two classes this term (which lasts 6 weeks). After that, there is just one more to go and I will have my B.S.M. in Business Management. If I survive that long. Because if Senioritis is bad in High School, let's just say it's at least 8 trillion times worse 15 years later.

In addition to our regular weekend activities, this week, Grace also had her Junior Festival performances. Thank goodness that was scheduled for the same town in which the kids participate in basketball and cheerleading. Otherwise, I don't know how we would have pulled it off. Grace played very well and received Superior or Super Superior ratings in each of the categories that required her to play pieces on the piano. Theory was another story altogether. I just had to watch her... sort of helplessly... through the window to the room, as she actually held her head in the hands over the stress. The ironic thing about this is that I think she actually understands the theory. She just gets really tense when it comes to "testing" over it or putting it on paper. The ironic thing about this whole festival is that I watched parents run around in an almost panicked frenzy, some even commenting on how they just couldn't listen while their children played because they were so nervous. I thought back to my own solo and ensemble days and my festival performances and realized that I had been extraordinarily nervous during each of them, myself. But I just didn't feel that way on Saturday. I think I have learned a few things about Grace and her piano performances. #1 She is very good, and she's "got this". #2 If she makes some mistakes... at age 10... it's probably not going to set her whole life on a path of failure or anything. #3 I can check the scores, privately, after she goes to bed.

Later in the day when we arrived home, I watched a movie with the kids, Phil set our clocks ahead, and we proceeded to try to go to bed at a decent hour. Unfortunately, Grace came to us around 10:00 or so, if I remember correctly, and had thrown up all over her bedroom floor (in my defense, I think this must have been right when the tooth fairy came to the window, thus resulting in her lack of ability to leave money). Grace is typically our "healthy" child, but she has been sick 3 times this winter. Considering the rest of us have basically been sick all winter, I guess that still makes her the healthy one, but she is like her mom and doesn't "do sick" well. I cancelled my plans to go to The Naz. this morning.

As it turns out, Grace has felt pretty good all day today. So, I am chalking the vomit up to our eating habits yesterday (which we declared National Donut Day... or something like that...) and hoping that she really wasn't contagious... particularly because she and Seth have to go take the ISTEP tomorrow, and if either of them is sick, I think they'll get kicked out of the school or something...

And here I sit... and it's past 11:00pm... and I still have a whole counter full of dirty dishes... and I have to leave the house before the sun comes up...

But I think I might get a break on Thursday...

Lisa

I'm Really Getting Frustrated...

... with school.

No one in their right mind has this many credit hours and no degree...

And I'm starting to get cocky, which is never a good thing...

I honestly thought this was going to get better with the transfer I made this fall to a "real" school, but it's not... not really anyway... And the problem is now that if I even had the audacity to transfer again, I'm not really willing to do it, because I need to finish a program in order to hang the all powerful piece of paper up by my desk so that Ian can tear it out of it's frame and fingerpaint it...

Seriously... is this even worth it? Don't answer that. It's rhetorical...

L.

St. Louis Vacation, Day 3...

I would be lying if I didn't say that today was stressful. However, it is turning out better, as it comes to an end, then it was at several moments throughout...

The kids and I spent the bulk of the day at the hotel, while Phil did some... uh... sightseeing. You will have to check out his blog for further details...

Rather than focusing on the parts of the day that would have made me a good candidate for a new reality TV show called, "Mommy of Five Goes Ballistic: Hotel Edition," I am going to try to highlight the good and/or funny parts of this day. That means we can forget about Ian setting off the smoke detector, this morning, right? I am going to be honest, though, and admit that I did threaten to go home tomorrow, and the only child who protested was Grace, because she wanted me to get to ride up in the arch. She is terrified of it herself... She is a good little princess...

Here is the conversation of the day, which happened as I was making sure Ian went potty one more time before breakfast and swimming:

Ian: "Since you're fat, you can float on the water"
Me: "Thanks, Ian"
Ian: "I only said that 'cause I wanted it to be easier for you"

Well... at least I know somebody was listening when I taught them that fat floats... I did not, however, get into my swimsuit today, much to Ian's disappointment...

Today I enjoyed introducing my children to "The Andy Griffith Show" and teaching Grace and Caleb to play UNO. We are not done with our game, and they are ganging up on me! Caleb (who has like 300,000 cards in his hand) is so excited that he has cards that are going to cause me to pick up cards if they ever manage to come up with a "reverse" between them... I have 4 cards left...

When Phil returned, we went out to eat at Ponderosa, and I should have taken my camera in, because Seth created an amazing new "recipe"... He called it "A King with a Mustache", and it was made of brownies, onion rings, M&Ms, and chocolate chips. Really, it was art, but he ate most of it. I think it catapulted our family into the "preteen years", maybe even more than when Grace asked for my cell phone, because she wanted to call a friend today (battery was almost dead, but I may grant that request later in the week... Kelly... tell Lexi to be standing by... hehehe...) The fact that Seth and Caleb had their fists full of yet more M&Ms when they returned from a bathroom break just about killed me, though... I'm not sure moms are supposed to laugh about these things, but I just couldn't help it. In Seth's defense, he did inform me that he used a spoon to fill their hands... at least they didn't just grab a hand full each on the way through!

At present, I think all of our little people are sleeping... If not, they're faking it well. I am sippin' my frozen juice of the night (orange tonight after the back cherry last night... both yummy), and waiting to see if the toilet will be usable in the next few minutes before requesting a plunger (somebody said something about Ian throwing toothbrushes in there or something)... Thinkin' about asking Phil to crack out "Get Smart" and wonderin' what tomorrow will bring...

Lisa

Can't Kick It...

... I feel as if I have been fighting a battle of near epic proportions for the past few months. It has become so much a part of my daily life that I honestly can't even remember what side of it I'm supposed to be on. It is spiritual... But it is causing me great pain in other realms of being... particularly physical (stress eating, lack of sleep)... and emotional...

I do not know what to do to fix this, because every time I think I have the solution, it get worse...

Pray...

Lisa

I Should Go To Bed...

... and if I'm not going to go to bed, I should do some school.

Instead, I got all wrapped up in thumbing through the swimsuit edition of a catalog... which was depressing... I mean... where are all of the people with cellulite... and stretch marks? Hello! There is absolutely no way for me to know how I would look in those swimsuits if every one of your models is a size 2!

Which, of course, created stress... and in turn sent me spiraling toward my ever faithful computer... and since I've already paid my bills... and since I don't really have the brain power to take an exam after battling the respiratory flu for 4 days and watching Dora the Explorer for something like 18 hours... I though, hey... why not write a blog with some substance? You know... like something about swimsuits and cellulite?

But seriously... I knew this illness had hit it's low when I found myself hugging the toilet this morning, and there stood Ian next to me holding his own little mask to take his meds. through a nebulizer and shouting over the noise, "I do it, Mommy! I do it!" This was interrupted by Phil peeking his head in the door and saying, "Are you throwing up?" At which I almost laughed, because I thought, "No... I just really like to kiss the toilet first thing in the morning!" But he did pick Ian up to finish his treatment, so I guess that's redemption!

Following this insanity, Grace proceeded to make breakfast... on her own. Everyone had eggos. She did just fine. Grace is going to be a chef when she grows up (at least this week). She wanted to own her own restaurant until she found out that she would have to pay for a building. Since Grace has little concept of how earning money works in the real world, she panicked. Now she just wants to work for somebody else. Oh yeah... go Mom. Talk your kid out of entrepreneurship and into flipping burgers... I think she'll get over it and be rich and famous someday...

Even Caleb took a nap today. I think his body was fighting off getting sick... again... It is unheard of for Caleb to take a nap! But at any rate, he seems to be doing pretty well, and he has been on the calm and extremely loving side, even though I keep telling his that I can't touch him, because I don't want him to get sick! He continues to sing, "My Mommy Loves Me," over... and over... and over again. It is cute every day, until the 80th verse or so!

Seth has been very, very helpful these past few days. I don't think he has refused to do anything I have asked him to do, and I have asked a whole lot of him! Everything from, "Can you please refill Ian's drink cup," to,"Could you just sit with us through one more episode of Dora," to, "Hey Buddy, could you do something worthwhile for school today?" I have been very impressed.

And Ian is getting better, slowly but surely. He is probably going to think that life revolves around the television when we are through with this, but that's something I think we can deal with. The kid is starting to greet me every morning with something that sounds like, "Ola!"... but I know he is really saying, "Oh-ah"... which is how he says "Dora"...

Phil and I are still sick, but we can lift our heads again, and we managed to eat a meal today... sort of... if you can call frozen pizza a meal. Maybe I will feel capable of cooking something in the near future.

Grace and I have a big day coming up, which I will hopefully have the chance to blog tomorrow... You never know... my blogging habits are a lot like my life... consistently inconsistent!

Lisa

PS Wish me luck... I'd better go flunk a test now...

Totally Burned Out...

... And so ends another semester.

My grades are going to show it this time around. For a long time now, I have been able to "squeak by", bringing in pretty good final grades, even in the midst of complete chaos, but that will not be the case this term...

You know... I'm really tired of not even being able to sit down and compose an e-mail without starting off by apologizing profusely for being so late to respond, because my life is so busy or ending with a rushed explanation about what I have to run to do next.

Something has to give...

I am completely and totally burned out, and the things I'm doing that keep me so busy are not the things I want to remember as the way life was in this stage...

I want to finish playing Super Mario Brothers with Seth so we can move on to Super Mario Brothers Two...

I want to schedule "girl time" with Grace again, so she'll learn how to paint her nails and use her spirograph...

I want to spend hours building outrageous duplo train layouts with Caleb before he's too big for "baby" toys...

I want to cuddle with Ian and read him book... after book... after book...

I want to go out with my husband...

I want to read my Bible...

And as I sit here with tears streaming down my face... and as I think about all the stupid things I've done in the last few weeks... and as I am distracted, wondering when the last time I fed the fish was... Well, like I said before, something has to give...

And it's not going to be what's important anymore...

Lisa

And So The Week Of The Everlasting Christmas Party Begins...

... Here I am:

Don't I look Christmassy?

Anybody want to place bets on whether the smile or the curls fall first?

'Cause I really doubt they're both going to endure 8 days... and 6 parties...

Christmas really isn't supposed to be this hectic, is it?

Lisa

The Urgent vs. The Important...

Time management... I've never been very good at it, and the older I get... well... I'm not getting any better...

I remember reading about the urgent vs. the important in some class of mine. I also learned quite a bit about the non-urgent... and the unimportant... and the truth is, I just can't seem to get it balanced...

Seems that I often come to a point in life that feels a little bit like "the eleventh hour" (have written about this before), and then I get really stressed, because there are a trillion and one things bearing down on me... and they're all "urgent"... and I can't get any of them done in time... so, instead, I focus my energy on something completely non-urgent, and often unimportant, to boot...

Ah...

I waste so much time!

The other day I was thinking about this as I installed a new toilet seat in our upstairs bathroom. Our old toilet seat came with the house. It was squishy (which I totally do not prefer)... and it was cheap... and it was broken! Well, I bought a new toilet seat several months ago, and it has been sitting on the bathroom floor ever since. When I finally sat down to make the replacement, I was shocked to find that it took me less than five minutes... FIVE! We have been sliding around on a broken toilet seat for months now, with a brand new one sitting at our feet, and all I had to do was carve out five minutes to fix the problem! But I was too busy... I guess... but with what? It was five stinkin' minutes! As I threw the old toilet seat away, I said to myself, "why did I wait so long to do this?" And there's something deeper here to be learned...

There are so many things in life that I just keep putting off... Granted, they are far more important than replacing broken toilet seats, and they are far more time consuming, too... But that's the point. I need to focus on what's important, because I don't want to wait longer than I should and then find myself staring at the trash and wondering why I wasted all this time...

Reevaluating is tough. We all get 24 hours every day. That's it. But somehow I have to find a way to put my 24 to better use, because I'm sick of wasting time...

Lisa

Meltdown...

Seriously, don't laugh! You know you've finally lost it when you spend an hour on the computer attempting to create a cartoon version of yourself... Is this the kind of thing that requires therapy? hehehe...

Alright, so I think I did fairly well...

This is me on a very good, straight hair day... 50 pounds lighter, because the "plus size" option was really plus size, and I don't think I'm quite that big...

Now that my cartoon self is dressed and wearing make-up, maybe I should do something about the real self... sitting here at the computer... wasting time...

Lisa

One Step Forward...

... Two Steps Back

Even slow progress is not supposed to be this slow.

This could apply to lots... and lots... and lots... alright already... and lots of areas of my life lately.

I am tired...

Lisa

I Have Heard it All...

... Before

Lisa