Tempting...

Last week, my two oldest children ran into a problem that is fairly common.  They felt as if no one was listening to them.  Wow.  Have I ever been there, myself.  Being young teenagers, they probably didn't handle this is as well as, say, adults might.  Actually, I'm not sure they even handled it as well as they ordinarily might.  There has been a lot of stress and pressure lately, and let's face it, anybody can have a bad day.

But here's the thing.  I tend to think it's pretty important to listen to my kids, so when they came to me, in tears, I did.  The topic was temptation.  They weren't satisfied with the conclusion that the devil is at fault.  Hear me loud and clear here, Satan sucks!  Evil is real.  James 4:7 has been running through my mind ever since this conversation got started, "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (NIV).  I think it's incredibly stupid to give sin a foothold of any kind in our lives.  But therein lies the key.  We have to take responsibility.  

It took me almost four days of pouring over his words to figure out what it was that my fourteen year old son was trying to say.  And believe me, I get it.  I completely understand that no one outside of my immediate family loves him enough to think about his words for this amount of time, and that's OK.  But he was right.

In regard to Jesus' temptation in the wilderness, he said, "These were things that Jesus wanted".  I might even take this a step further and say that some of these things were things that Jesus needed.  Bread after a forty day fast?  Yes, please!

But Seth's solution is simple, too simple because it's not what anyone wants to hear.  Stop wanting what you shouldn't have.  Ouch!  Been there, too...

I will never apologize for his passion.  The fact that Seth sat there in a classroom full of girls who are often very insecure about themselves, and made the bold statement that they don't need to be, makes him about the most endearing fourteen year old kid I can imagine.  He never, ever would have put it this way, but it's almost as if he was up in their faces telling them, "Hey!  You're good enough!  Not only should you stop allowing the devil to have a foothold in your life that tempts you to be something you're not.  You should stop wanting that.  Someone will love you for who you are.  Just be who you are."  And he means it.  He lives it.  He is so comfortable in his own skin.  

Grace's solution is a little more difficult, and maybe a little more human.  Know Scripture.  It will never cease to amaze me how offensive this often is to people who claim to love Jesus.  We need to know what Scripture says.  We need to understand what it means.  And we need to live as if we care.  Jesus refutes  every one of the devil's temptations with Scripture.  Let's not lose sight of the very real struggle that is happening here.  Jesus is hungry!  Jesus is being forced to question his identity and whether or not he is really the Messiah and whether or not his Father really loves him.  Everything he wants is on the table, there for the taking.  But Jesus stops and says, "Wait.  Something about this isn't quite right.  Let me return to what I know is true".

Just think about that for a little bit...

L.

Family Waterpark Party...

It's tradition for our kids to have a birthday party at age 5.  Unfortunately, all of Miah's friends live hours away, and I do mean all of them, so doing a traditional party just didn't work.  So, we booked a night at Great Wolf Lodge and called this a "Family Waterpark Party".  She's happy.  We're happy.  It works.

Here are some photo highlights:

L.

Cynicism Comes All Too Easily...

... at least to me.

A little over a month ago, I wrote a post titled, "This Might Be the Most Important Post I Have Ever Written".  That was probably not the brightest idea I ever had for a title.  I wrote about some of my struggles from the previous month, and then I entered into a new one.  The past month has been overwhelming, again, and I am relatively sure there are a few things I could share that would be of much greater importance than my thoughts from my earlier post, many of which are a direct result of the things that I discussed (or did not discuss, as the case may be) related to the post, itself.

I remember being almost obsessed with the concept of the "dark night of the soul" in my early 20s.  I am sure it never occurred to me that a person could experience a dark month... or two... or longer...  But it's been really dark here.

I was going to write that there have been external circumstances that have contributed to this, but then it occurred to me that the very idea is, at least most likely, very wrong.  There have been external circumstances, no doubt, but the more I consider it, the more I think they are actually symptoms of a much worse internal conflict.  I have, quite literally, made myself sick.  I cannot remember the last time I had a good night's sleep.  My stress level is just skyrocketing, and I'm putting this pressure on myself.  No one else is at fault.  I am the problem.  And I hate that.  And I need a stronger word than hate, because that just didn't cut it.

I have never been any good at lying.  I am a prophet.  Not the kind of prophet who foresees the future (at least not consistently, but that's another thought for another day... or never...) but the kind of prophet who tells the truth.  Multiple stories with great entertainment value have been written about characters who are "cursed" with the inability to lie.  I have to imagine those stories are so much funnier if they're not your own.  But I've learned to live with it - this painful desire to tell everyone about everything that is wrong with the world, cynicism, and this painful desire to tell everyone about everything that is right with the world, which is sometimes worse.  I've learned to live with it by mostly being silent.  "Live" might be too strong a word here.

In order to protect myself, I have also learned some moderately valuable tricks such as tact, sarcasm, and nuance.  I'm much better at sarcasm and nuance than tact, but I can pull even that one out of the bag if I have to, most of the time.  Problem is, I'm exhausted - physically and mentally and emotionally and spiritually exhausted.  I can just feel it coming.  If I'm not very careful, words are going to start spewing out of my mouth (and, very likely, my fingertips) that I can never get back.  And then what?

I am working really hard, right now, to find the proper way to move forward by speaking the truth in love.  I was going to say, "see Ephesians 4:15," but you know what, just see Ephesians 4.  All of it.  I was reminded the other day that, "There can be no way forward but through prayer".  This is truth.  I can speak this.  And I can do this.

And so, even in this meandering post, God has been working.  God is working.  I don't want anyone to misunderstand.  The time for eternal silence and censorship has ended.  I'm not afraid to speak the truth.  But I need to make sure I am centered precisely on the truth that God would have me to speak "for such a time as this".  See Esther 4:14.  Or, you know, just the whole book.

Pray for me.  I am praying.

L.

An Open Letter to the President and Trustees of NNU...

Well, there's been a lot of letter writing going on!  I'm going to add mine to the pile.  Below you can find the text of the letter I have written to the president and trustees of NNU, regarding the dismissal of Dr. Tom Oord:

April 8^th, 2015

To Dr. David Alexander, President of Northwest Nazarene University, and to the NNU Board Of Trustees:

My name is Lisa Michaels.  I am an alumnus of NNU, having graduated in 2014 with an M.A. in Spiritual Formation, and I am also a current student, working toward the M.Div. through the Graduate Theological Online Education program.  

I am writing to you concerning Tom Oord's dismissal from NNU.  As a previous student of Tom's and a friend, I do not always agree with 100% of what he has to say, but that's not the point. Tom is an example of a brilliant theologian who has spent countless hours in study and thought, considering seriously who God is and what that means in regard to spiritual formation.  He has been gracious in imparting knowledge to others, while living a life of love. I learned so much from Tom in the class I had with him at NNU, even though our understanding of theology is not identical.  In fact, I probably learned so much, because of this diversity . Never did I feel like I had to conform to everything he believed in order to have respectful, engaging, intelligent, and thought provoking dialogue. We need professors like this, and just people like this, who are willing to ask the tough questions and to allow them to be asked. 

In recent days, the Church of the Nazarene has faced several situations that have been handled without the integrity or transparency that should be reasonably expected from people in leadership positions who claim that holiness is our distinctive doctrine.  What is holiness if it is not love for God and love for others? 

I do not claim to know all of the details that accompanied this decision, but it is my understanding that after twelve years of faithful service, a tenured professor with senior status was laid off, via e-mail, while on vacation.  This is not love.  It is also my understanding that this was done at least somewhat unilaterally, without the full input or support of the director of the GTOE program.  I do not have any inside information in this regard, but I cannot understand how Tom Oord would be the faculty member who was chosen to be dismissed based solely on enrollment and budget concerns, if the proper communication had been in place.  

Further, it is my understanding that the original purpose of our Nazarene schools was for them to be places in which those called to ministry could develop in such a way as to spread the gospel.  If there is a decrease in enrollment in the graduate theological program, perhaps we should be considering why this is so, as opposed to dismissing someone who is passionate about nurturing this call in his students.  I wonder if the program could benefit from more resources as opposed to less.  In the financial plan that was laid out in the letter you sent, it appears that the intent is to use a large portion of the reallocated funds for marketing.  Does it really make any sense to market for a program that will be weaker because of this faculty change?  Or is the marketing for other programs?  Perhaps programs that you find more important than sound theological education?  Those of us who are pouring thousands of dollars every school year into NNU's school of theology deserve an answer to these questions.   

Dr. Alexander, there are many people who are concerned that this decision was made based on your personal vendetta, and the evidence, in tandem with your lack of response, points to this.  I think it is possible that you expected this decision to be met with approval, because, perhaps, the loudest voices surrounding you have been those who wish for the Church of the Nazarene to devolve into another branch of the fundamentalist/reformed movement.  Perhaps those of us who have seen this happening in our own local contexts have been quiet for too long.  You are mistaken if you think it is the majority of Nazarenes who favor these kinds of changes.  Rest assured, we are not going to be silent any longer.

I love the Church of the Nazarene.  I love NNU.  It is my school.  If I'm completely honest, it is my dream to one day be on staff there, or at least it was until this past week.  Now the thought is a little frightening.  Of course, I understand that as soon as I click "send" on this message, my name will probably disappear from the hiring process in which I have been involved over the past two months.  But there are things that are more important than self interest.  If there is one thing I have learned, above all else, through my time at NNU, it is to embrace this quote from Robert Mulholland's book, Invitation to a Journey, "Spiritual formation is a process of being conformed to the image of Christ for the sake of others."  This is how the Church of the Nazarene needs to be evolving.  This kind of love is what Tom Oord teaches.  I fully support Tom Oord, and I am asking that you do whatever it takes to seriously consider the voices of those who want nothing less than to see our denomination embracing love.

Sincerely,

Lisa Michaels