Christmas Letter 2017

Rogue One Spoilers...

It seems that there is some interest regarding how I felt about Rogue One.  I have done very little movie reviewing as of late, and this is going to be relatively short and surely not comprehensive.  There are spoilers.  So, seriously, if you don't want to read any spoilers, close this tab right now.  I do not want to be responsible for anyone's ruined movie going experience...

SPOILERS COMING...  This is your last chance to turn back...

*I'll start with this, because it won't spoil the movie, just in case you're still accidentally reading.  Our biggest issue, as a family, was the voluminous number of inappropriate previews.  We almost always go to MJR, but this was an AMC.  We are incredibly careful about what our kids see, and the previews (22 full minutes of them) were worse than any movie they have ever seen.  Super frustrating.

*Apparently there was a ton of re-filming for this movie.  They did not even use the "I rebel" scene from the trailers, and I was incredibly disappointed about that.  I mean, I bought an "I rebel" t-shirt.  Seth says it is now obsolete...

*The story line was basically good, but it was a true war story.  They did a masterful job of connecting it to episode IV, but it had a much darker feel than most of Star Wars.  Along those lines, I did think it was an incredible testament to the cost of war, and that's something we don't always see in entertainment media.  So, I appreciated that.  

*Everybody dies.  Star Wars fans should have been prepared for this, but somehow I didn't consider that this would be necessary for the plot to be consistent with episode IV.  It threw me a little bit.  The story, itself, was not developed enough to create deep emotional attachment to the characters (you just can't do that in a couple of hours), but it was a little shocking by the end, when I realized no one was going to survive.  It took me awhile to process.

*It's definitely not a movie for small children.  Historically, I am conservative in my assessment of appropriate age levels, but I would not have been comfortable viewing this film with anyone younger than Caleb (age 12, and he was with us).  Even then, you have to know your kids.  My oldest two would not have been ready for this movie at twelve.

*Final scene with Princess Leia?  Well, yeah... awesome!

Alright, that's all for now...  May the Force be with you...

L.

How Grad School Ruined My Life…

The final assignment is finished.  It’s ready.  But I’m not.  I just can’t hit “post reply.”

Let me begin by making it very clear that this title is painfully misleading.  I could just as easily write a post about how grad school saved my life, because in a lot of ways, it did.  It took me fifteen years after high school graduation to earn my BSM, because I choose to do life in a different order than what is generally considered normal.  I got married first, had a family first.  I have always loved the role in which I raise my kids.  They are the center of my world, for better or worse, whether it's good or right or sometimes over the top.  People who know me well know that I am generally a pretty nice person, but if you mess with my kids, I turn into something crazy.  I mean, I don't even recognize myself!

By the time I walked across the stage at Indiana Wesleyan University and grasped the all consuming piece of paper that finally proved I knew a lot about something as opposed to just a little bit about everything; I was exhausted.  And five little faces, ranging in age from two to eleven, stared back at me with a certain sense of relief, because Mommy was finally finished with school.  I didn't have the heart to tell them I was going back on Monday. 

I had spent the summer deciding what I wanted to do next with my life.  I had been accepted into multiple graduate programs.  Did I want to stick with business or organizational leadership?  Did I want to dive into something different altogether?  Did I have what it took to do graduate level coursework at all?  I finally decided on a theology degree at Northwest Nazarene University.  That place has been calling to me since I was eighteen and lived on the corner of the school property for about six weeks in a house that no longer exists.  It was time to throw my hat in the ring.  Just two years, though.  I was going to blow in, be awesome, and blow out, with another framed diploma to hang on my wall.

Honestly, I thought I was pretty great.  I was also cynical and jaded, mad at the world and certainly mad at the church.  I started that first course wondering just how many people I could tick off in eight weeks.  It took me about three days to realize I was in over my head and the entire first semester just to figure out how to keep up.  But, I have always liked a challenge.  This one rocked my expectations… pretty much all of them…

I was not going to be friends with anyone in my cohort.  I think they figured out early on that I was volatile and broken in about a million pieces.  Try spending two years with people like that, who want to be friends, discussing the deepest issues of spiritual formation, and just see how that not being friends thing works out for you.  I held out until October, I think…

In 2014, sitting in my four year old’s room at bedtime, after an incredibly awesome birthday party for my middle child who had just turned “double digits,” I watched the tape delayed version of my graduation from NNU, went to bed, myself, and woke up early the next morning to preach my first sermon.  I loved it.  Over the next couple of months, I carefully considered my next move.  Would I really take a year off, as planned?  Should I make an attempt at law school?  Maybe it was time to pursue doctoral work, back in the field of organizational leadership.  I could have chosen any of it, but that sermon set me on a path from which I couldn’t turn back.  Scratch that.  I still believe in free will, so we all know I could have turned back, but I knew I wouldn’t.

Sometime later, I received what was probably a form letter to all M.A. graduates of NNU, encouraging me to come back to complete the M.Div.  Before I knew it, I had enrolled in “just one class” for the upcoming fall term.  I think I told Phil about this a few days before the school year began, primarily because I needed his books.  I would have kept it a secret, entirely, except my returning cohort friends were all like, “What the heck are you doing here?”  I guess I should have used a pseudonym…

Well, “one more class” turned to two… and then three… and then fourteen…

The truth is; I found myself at NNU.  I feel more like who I was always created to be when I am there (on campus, for sure, but even online).  I’d move there, with hardly a backwards glance, if I could find a job.  And in a matter of moments, I am going to make one final click on this keyboard, and I am no longer going to be a student at NNU.  Excuse me while I cry just a little bit longer.  It’s something of an identity crisis.

I don’t know what’s next, but here are some things I do know…

I am called to ministry.  There is no denying it, no escaping it, I’m not even trying.

I am good with people.  I never would have guessed this to be true, but it is.  I also need more community than I thought possible.  Go figure.

I am passionate about education.  That’s always been the case.  I’m never going to stop learning, and I’m never going to stop teaching.  I am, however, slightly terrified about what that may or may not look like in the coming years.  I have big dreams, but they’re a little bit scary to pursue.

I’m a good writer and a good editor, even though this particular post reads something like a grocery list.

I still love being a mom more than anything in the world, and finding out who I am has not hindered that in any way but has, instead, helped me to raise kids who are stronger than I ever imagined they could be.

Something will happen tomorrow… and the next day… and the day after that…

I kind of stink at endings, but I’m good at beginnings, and they always follow, so it will be OK. 

L.

That Part When I Admit I Was Too Tired To Blog While In Florida...

How to Pretend You're on Vacation While on a Business Trip, Part 2...

I feel as if we just did Florida like old people... or normal people...  or something...

The good news is, after six days of training, I am, indeed, licensed to teach Musikgarten classes in the fall!  Yay for that, because it would have been really awful to have to report that I failed the training, especially because it would have left me with no legitimate excuse for leaving my children with Grandma for over a week while traveling to Orlando!

The other good news is, I made some new music friends.  This is pretty significant for an introvert who sometimes struggles with the very sad facebook videos that people keep bumping of that time when I was really sick and led worship.  This is super significant when that same introvert walks into a room full of people who have been teaching music for many years and who are music majors and who sing very well.  I may have started my introduction by stating, "I am undoubtedly the least qualified person to be in this room..."  Oh my goodness, I often feel that way...  everywhere I go...  and yet, I keep going...

Just to give some perspective, this is how I felt at the beginning of the week...  all sweet and cute and early-childhood music teacher-like:

By the end of the week, it was more like this...  you know...  the usual:

The other, other good news is, Phil and I had tons of free (or very cheap) fun.  How about some highlights:

Disney Springs:

If you're ever in Orlando on a non-Disney trip, at least stop in at Disney Springs to say your feet have touched Disney ground.  It's one of the few places you can experience Disney magic with free parking, and the free outdoor concert venues are pretty fun!  We went to Disney Springs twice on this trip.  On Sunday we enjoyed dinner and a movie at AMC (Are you kidding me?  You can do that?  They bring you food (OK, I ordered Mac and Cheese with Chicken and Bacon in it, but c'mon, what else do you expect) and keep refilling your Raspberry Coke, while you sit there?  Sweet!)  On Wednesday, we went to Rainforest Cafe, where we dined with the fish.  Also awesome, although I really did choose chicken parm as opposed to fish and chips, because it's sort of weird to eat fish while talking to fish, you know, with "fish are friends, not food," running through your mind...

Oh, I almost forgot...  I also had the oldest daughter's lightsaber fixed...  because I am a super cool mom who doesn't mind that everyone at Disney Springs thought the lady running around with a Star Wars weapon and no kids was a little crazy...

The Magic Kingdom, It's Who You Know:

On Tuesday, my super incredible friend Lindsay, who works for Disney, was gracious enough to meet up with us and use her guest passes to get us into the Magic Kingdom for the evening!  It was so fun to hang out with her and y'all know I am never going to pass on a bonus ride on Dumbo or Small World or Splash Mountain or Carousel of Progress or the People Mover (we Skyped the kids while riding that one, I still can't decide if that was an awesome parenting moment or an epic fail)!  And... of course... there's Wishes.  I'm pretty sure I could never live in Orlando, because I would buy season passes to Disney and insist on watching Wishes every single night of my life...

Free Sea World Tickets, Yes, Please:

If you know me at all, you know Sea World is one of my happy places.  As I mentioned in the first post about this trip, I scored free Sea World tickets, and I was more than happy to use them after my last day of training!  Sea World is going through some significant changes, and I'm pretty sure this is the last time we will have the opportunity to see the Orca shows as they have been for decades.  Please, don't judge, but I love me some Shamu, rockin' out to loud music and fireworks late at night.  I also love the stingray touch pool...  a lot...  I mean, I could live there...  We had free dining (which is a good deal, because it was free, but I would never pay for it, because Sea World food is pretty awful).  The photo booth was not free, but worth every penny...

And the Ocean:

We started our trip back home, Saturday, by spending a couple of hours at the Atlantic Ocean.  This feels like a big deal to me, because it marks that I have traveled from coast to coast over the course of 11 months!  The ocean is just beautiful... 

 
We essentially drove straight home, but we did stop to sleep in a Wal-Mart parking lot for about 2 1/2 hours...  Too much coffee and way too much chocolate later, it's time to see what else we can accomplish as the summer winds down!

L.         

Free Stuff is Fun *or* Why the Heck are You in Florida Again

How to Pretend You're on Vacation While on a Business Trip, Part 1

Although I feel no specific need to explain to anyone why I am in Florida for the third time in 10 months...  Well, never mind...  I actually do sort of feel a little bit of a need to defend this...  thus, this post...

I'm here, this week, because I accepted a position, for the fall, as an early childhood music teacher, and I have training to accomplish.  The training is here in Orlando.  That's the short story.  The long story on this is coming at some point, but not today.

Upon realizing that I would need to make a trip to Orlando, I began deal searching, because that's how I roll.  No one I know can vacation at a better price than I can, and even though this is decidedly not a vacation, I think it is wise to be thrifty when traveling.

I often stay with friends when I can, but seven nights of free lodging is a lot to ask.  In addition, many of you may know that I have had the worst summer in many years in regard to asthma and allergies, so even though I am usually OK to stay in homes with non-feline pets; I am being particularly careful because of how precarious my ability to breathe well has become.  Because of this, I started looking for a cheap hotel.

When I say cheap, in this case, I mean really cheap.  I mean really cheap, but not quite Motel 6 cheap.  It's not that I'm a hotel snob or anything, but a friend of mine recently told me that since we're in our 30s, it's OK if we don't pick Motel 6.  I went with her logic.  When I started planning this trip, however, I had another reason for shunning the cheapest of the cheap.  I was not certain, at the time, if I would be traveling alone, and although I am something of a tough solo traveler; I do like hotel rooms with doors inside the building if I'm by myself.  Weird?  I don't know, maybe.  But I'm keeping it real here.  I found a cheap hotel.  A really cheap hotel.

Then I thought to myself, I'll bet there's a way to save more money on this.  Because, friends, this is always what I think to myself when I travel.  I then proceeded to take this cheap hotel thing to a new level by working the system to score a free night, free tickets to Sea World and Aquatica, and some free food.  Please do not misunderstand.  When I say it was cheaper to go with this package, I do not mean it was cheaper than all of these things combined.  I mean it was cheaper than the hotel price, alone.  I walked away from my negotiations feeling pretty awesome.

Upon researching travel options, I found that it would cost nearly the same amount for me to fly or for Phil and I to drive, together.  This is the point at which I said to Phil, "Hey!  Do you want to go to Florida with me for eight days?"  If you know my husband, you know that what followed was a sideways glance that questioned my sanity.  There is no way I ask him for more than a week of his time... alone... and he says no.  So I made my next pitch...

"Food is going to cost more if you come with me, so you're going to have to take care of that..."  The truth is, I have super odd eating habits when traveling alone.  Unless somebody says, "Hey L...  you really have to eat now," I am probably going to survive on coffee and whatever (if anything) the hotel provides for breakfast.  This is probably a huge part of why Phil often sets me up in hotels with decent breakfast options when he makes reservations for me.  It's like he knows I will be unable to resist shuffling down to the lobby in my Hello Kitty pajama pants if I can smell cinnamon rolls and cheesy eggs, but if it's just cold cereal, I might forget to eat altogether. 

Phil's response to this food dilemma was a pretty typical response for our family...  "Gift Cards!"  We are sort of gift card hoarders.  I am being completely honest when I tell you that we have a bag full of gift cards that we keep in the van.  The nicest thing anyone can offer us for birthdays or Christmas or graduations or random acts of kindness are gift cards.  At this point it occurred to me that if I took Phil to Florida with me I would eat well all week.  This is a great plus for me, but it's also good for you, blog readers, because it means that you will not be subjected to multiple pictures of random grilled cheese sandwiches for which I have foraged over the course of eight days...

So, very early this morning we got in the van after about 90 minutes of sleep and began our journey.  About three minutes later we turned around, because I had forgotten my shoes.  I hate shoes.  I mean, I really hate shoes.  But I have no idea what the dress code is for this training, so I am trying to play it business casual safe (legit, business casual, not Naz business causal, which means business suits), and this means at least breaking out the good flip flops...

I proceeded to drive for 21 hours and 4 minutes.  I should admit here that I may have tricked Phil into this particular itinerary.  When we drove straight through from Ohio to Florida in 2006 with a five year old, a four year old, and a two year old; Phil informed me that we were too old to ever do the non-stop thing again.  True to his word, we have taken two days to drive to Florida on every trip that has followed.  I knew that I was going to do this drive in one.  I have known this for months.  It was just a tiny bit awkward when Phil asked me, earlier this week, where we were stopping on Saturday night.  I think he was less than happy with me when my honest and very understated answer was, "Orlando."  Ahem.  So, we stopped far more than usual, but Phil kept me supplied with coffee running through my veins and probably more food than I would have eaten on the entire trip if I had left him at home.  About three hours into our drive I remembered why airplanes are beautiful and worth the risk, but I'm thankful for a husband who thinks it's a privilege or something to sit in the passenger seat and watch me rock out to loud, angry music in my sweatpants and t-shirt and bandana.  I didn't say I understand it.  I said I'm thankful.  I'm pretty sure there was a moment at around 18 hours when it became less incredible to deal with my exhausted driving and the crabby attitude that creeps in when I have been essentially sleepless, but then he fed me again and we made it the rest of the way...

My original plan was to use those free Sea World tickets in the morning, and let's be real... this is mostly because of the free breakfast (do you see the theme here?).  However, my new plan is to sleep as long as I want and to focus on the first day of training, tomorrow, which begins mid-afternoon.

'Night

L.