Just What If...

It’s a new year.  With the turn of a calendar page, we often imagine that we have a fresh start… a new beginning.  When you stop to think about it, well… it’s actually kind of arbitrary.  But just for the sake of argument, I’m going with it…

So what if I did something every single day, this year, that was worthy of a photograph?  I’ve started projects like this before, and the truth is they usually fall flat around day 12.  But maybe this time will be different… just maybe…

And so, with a renewed sense of hope that I must have dredged up from the deeply hidden inner optimist, I started planning to get the kids in their snow gear and to go build a snowman around 11:00, this morning.  Shortly after 2:00, we all finally made it out the door only to realize that the snow wouldn’t “pack” worth anything and that Seth apparently has no gloves.  I gave him mine.  Who needs gloves if you can’t build a snowman?

We had fun.

And so I give you January 1^st, 2013…  That day when Caleb managed to come in with mild looking frostbite on his stomach, because it is so fun to roll around in the powdery snow you don’t always notice that your pants are falling down…  That day when Miah kept exclaiming things like, “Hey look what I found!  A tree!”… 

It Doesn't Really Get Any Better Than This:

"This snowball is so 'coldy'"
Yep, that's what she said:

 

She thought everything was so funny:

 Ian (AKA Sharkboy):

 Snow Diva:

A couple of good looking kids

with a couple of good looking snowballs:

Hot chocolate is yummy.

Everyone is warmed up.

There is more snow in the kitchen than the backyard.

It’s been a good day.   

L.

Maybe the Mayans Were Right...

Let me get straight to the point (then I'll ramble on for awhile...)

2012 was rough enough that I found myself actually hoping that December 21st would mark the end of the world.  It's not the kind of thing you announce the day before, but after the planet survives... well... that's a different story.

For many years, I have sat down to write a Christmas letter to friends and family.  The mailing list numbers over 100.  Some years are better than others, but this year I just couldn't do it.  I did manage to come up with a quick, sort of generic, blurb for the back of our 4 x 8 Christmas card photos that we sent out to 29 addresses (mostly great aunts who don't have Facebook accounts).  The truth is, I didn't really want to share much of this year.  I just wanted it to be over.

I blogged much of the personal devastation, often in code, through the summer months.  By Fall my writing turned to an attempt to convince myself, as well as anyone else who was reading, that I was OK.  By the end of October, I all but dropped off the blogging radar, except for a few notes regarding the kids' quiz season, the election, and that aforementioned Christmas card.  Since I began blogging in 2003, I have not missed entries for the kids' birthdays, our anniversary, or holidays (at least not for the most part).  I'm going to be really frustrated someday when I look back through the 2012 posts, because they're just not there.

I'm absolutely going to hate that I have six days worth of entries for Phil's graduation from N.N.U. in 2011, but I worked for 15 years to achieve my bachelor's degree and then didn't enjoy the graduation ceremony, pasted a smile on for a couple of quick shots, neglected to order the professional photos, and wrote a few lines...

I cannot believe that I have not shared anything about Ian's first day of Kindergarten or how amazingly good he is at school.  I never would have dreamed that he would be the kid who is irritated that we still have another week of Christmas break... but he is...

Phil and I celebrated 15 years of marriage this August.  That's kind of a milestone.  I can't even remember what we did... 

I published a book!  I have always wanted to publish a book, and 2012 was the year I did it... for the first time...

I took a few minutes, this morning, to go back through my pictures of this year.  I smiled more than I cried, which was a pleasant surprise.  Since launching elemenoh-cheese, it's not all that often that I post snapshots anymore, but I found a few that really should have landed in the public realm this year, particularly because they are a reminder to me.  They represent all the really good stuff that went on in our lives, despite the stress, frustration, and depression.  Somehow, even in the midst of these things, we found some moments in which to be blessed... and in which to be thankful... 

Like this moment in which Miah is so happy at music class she looks like she could explode:

Or that time I did Seth's science project:

Or our trip to the Co-pa, by ourselves, 

in which I actually got to watch an entire game:

Or that day I was so proud of Grace that I almost embarrassed her to death:

Or Caleb's basketball adventure, 

which actually did get blogged and made the book, 

because... well... you know how it is with Caleb:

 

Or that time we decided to go to a Pacer's game?  Huh?  What were we thinking?

 

Or the day we learned we could get into the Children's Museum for $6.00 

and then proceeded to spend more money on the carousel than the tickets:

Or the sight that greeted me when I came home from my "Mommy Retreat":

Or one of the best birthdays ever, 

when I got to watch Seth and Grace quiz for the first time:

I really don't have a clue what's she's doing here, 

but it's one of those things you just have to post:

And that picture that didn't make the Christmas card:

 

And that trip to St. Louis, a rare couple of days with just "sethandgrace":

And here they are, after all... 

A couple of shots of Ian's first day of Kindergarten:

At this point you may be asking, "Lisa... what the heck does this have to do with the Mayans?"  It's simple.  Maybe my world just ended.  I have spent so much time feeling hurt and desperate this year over things that I can't change.  I have lost focus regarding what really matters.  And unlike the posts in which I tried to convince myself that everything might still turn out just the way I wanted it to; I'm legitimately ready to let go of that now.  The truth is, I already have everything I have ever wanted.

I'm not exactly living in a dream world.  2013 is going to bring with it some challenges, I'm sure.  In fact, I could probably list a few already if I really wanted to do so, and no doubt there are many others I have not even imagined to this point.  But isn't that always the way it is?  If you'd asked me, last year at this time, where I would be today; this probably wouldn't have been my answer.  But here I am...  (dare I finish the sentence)...  send me...

L.    

Christmas 2012

Heartfelt Blessings Christmas Card

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You Can't "Get" Christmas...

I feel irritated this morning.  But let me backtrack.

I really love this time of year.  I am ready to pull out the Christmas music, Thanksgiving is coming, and, admittedly, I ordinarily even make an annual Black Friday shopping trip.  So before anyone decides that I am indignant and self righteous, let's get this one thing straight.  I am just as materialistic as the next person.  I am not proud of this... at all.  It has been a struggle my entire life.  I've been working on it for years, and there are moments in which I think I have it licked.  But if I'm not careful it will come back to bite me.

I really enjoy giving gifts at Christmas.  I can sometimes be "over the top".  There have been years in which I have shopped, sporadically, for 365 days, just to find the "perfect" gift.  We made the front page of the newspaper one year, because our kids were sprawled out in a shopping cart at 4:00am the day after Thanksgiving.  I am the mom who is willing to fight it out at Target for the last camera or hit every Toys R Us for the Strawberry Shortcake house.  In case anyone has forgotten, I am an adrenaline junkie, so I think the experience is actually just about as much fun for me as the actual purchase.  I enjoy having a story to tell.

We have had Christmases on which the entire living room floor was covered in packages.  Last year, in the midst of financial struggles, we sat the kids down and told them that we probably would not have much in the way of presents.  They were absolutely fine with that, even reminding us that Christmas isn't really about presents, at all.  Phil and I also cancelled a surprise vacation that had been in the works for five years.  As a mom, I felt pretty crumby about what our "Christmas" was going to look like.  Amazingly enough, through a series of crazy events and deal shopping, we did, indeed, spend Christmas Day in the Magic Kingdom at Disney World after all!  So when I write this, please understand that I know full well that I do not really grasp the desperate situations that most of the population of the world has to endure.  God has always provided for everything we need and even most of what we want.  I understand this.

This year is going to be a little different.  If last year looked like it was going to be a meager Christmas spread (even though it turned out almost excessive), this year really is going to be on the light side.  I don't feel awful about it.  In fact, I love knowing that my children are going to be thankful for Christmas, regardless of whether or not there are packages under the tree (which there will be... some...).  I love knowing that my oldest four children have all asked Jesus to live in their hearts and that they are seeking to follow Him more every day.  I love that we will wake up on Christmas morning, read the story of Jesus' birth, celebrate the Eucharist, and then spend the day dozing on the couch and futon (broken down as they may be), snuggling, watching Christmas DVDs and listening to Christmas music.   

 And with that, let's get back to the reason I was feeling so frustrated...

I keep hearing people say things like, "I don't have enough money to 'get' Christmas this year," or, "We aren't going to 'have' Christmas this year".  I am watching people as they advertise on social networking sites that they need someone to "get" them Christmas, because they can't afford it.

HELLO!  You can't "get" Christmas!  Jesus is Christmas!

I probably needed this perspective as much as anyone.  But I just felt compelled to share it.  So as we head toward the advent season, let's all remember that in little or plenty there is a reason for this celebration that far surpasses packages and bows. 

L.