So the last two nights I have gotten very little sleep. It has been a mix of not feeling that great… and being extremely thirsty… and having to use the bathroom like every hour on the hour… and being hot… and being completely unable to get comfortable… even with 6 or 7 pillows… The last few weeks of pregnancy are just lousy for sleeping…
This morning I “woke up” around 10:30… on the sofa bed… after sleeping for an hour here or there throughout the early morning…
I picked up my laptop and logged on to facebook, because it’s about all I felt like I had the energy to do… but I could only see/read about every other word. I found that kind of strange, so I told Caleb to turn the living room light on… which he did… but it didn’t help at all…
At this point it occurred to me that maybe I was having some sort of visual disturbance, so I went into the kitchen to grab some Tylenol (just in case another migraine was coming on). I glanced up at the clock to see what time it was, and half of the numbers were missing… uh… yep… definite visual disturbance… I downed two extra strength Tylenol…
Since I also felt dizzy and like I might pass out… I decided to call Phil and put him on “stand by” to come home in case I needed him. He told me he was coming home immediately… which he did…
I warmed up some leftovers for myself and then got in the bath tub… much to the dismay of my husband who could not seem to understand how important it was to me to be clean before going to the hospital. When I got out I called the doctor’s office, and the receptionist told me to come in right away and not to drive myself. I called Monica to come watch the kids, and Phil took me to the office…
We spent the next hour and a half doing a bp check and NST, and then June came in and did my regular check up and ordered an ultrasound, because Baby Princess’ heart rate was in the 170s, and my bp was borderline high. The ultrasound looked good. Baby Princess is weighing in at about 6 lb. 15 oz. already and making lots of good breathing movements. But her heart rate was still high, so I had to go do an outpatient observation on the maternity floor.
After I got settled, I had Phil go home to the kids, because there wasn’t really anything he could do but sit there. I started to wonder if that was a good idea about 10 minutes after he left when the nurse slapped some oxygen on my face and told me they were going to start an IV. I wasn’t expecting that, and she said the baby’s heart rate was really fast (although she didn’t tell me just how fast… I learned hours later that it was over 200). I knew she was pretty seriously concerned about where this might be heading, though, because she wouldn’t even let me have water or ice chips.
It took two tries to get the IV in, and when she finally did get it, there was an ensuing blood bath… silly veins and blood thinners! Seriously… I didn’t look, but I could feel it running all over my hand. Yuck!
It’s funny, because I felt pretty relaxed during the whole thing. In fact, there were a few moments there in which I thought we were going to have a baby today, and I was OK with that… however it needed to happen. I think this might have provoked panic at other times in my life, but I trust my doctor completely, and God is good, so I am really ready to meet this Baby Princess at any time. In fact, I think I would be less nervous about delivering her at this point than continuing to carry her, because I have felt so sick for much of this pregnancy, and I think it’s going to be a huge sigh of relief to just have her safely in my arms.
Well… at some point, the oxygen and the IV fluids must have kicked in enough to get both my bp and Baby Princess’ heart rate back where they ought to be, and all of my labs came back good, so I was released to go home…
And here I am… glad for a little more time for Baby Princess to grow… but getting very eager to be done with this and to have her here with me!
Lisa
Happiest Place on Earth
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
You're So Vain...
You probably think this post is about you…
And maybe it is…
And maybe it’s not…
I think I am still kind of egocentric. All of the psychology classes I’ve taken make it pretty clear that I should have outgrown this… oh… about a dozen years ago… but I haven’t… not completely…
The vast majority of the time, I think this is just a result of my overactive imagination that must somehow desire to be a people pleaser, deep down inside, even though I have never, ever been a people pleaser… in my whole life… ever.
I am, however, much better than I used to be at actually recognizing that other people exist and then going out of my way to help them in whatever way possible. It doesn’t come naturally to me, but I have learned to do it, because people matter. And I don’t want to sit here patting my own back all day long, but anybody who really knows me also knows that I will run myself into the ground for the sake of others, and that I would give someone the shirt off my back if they needed it. Again… no credit to me… I haven’t always been this way… And, again… I have to think about it. It takes effort on my part… I am no angel…
But I do like helping people.
I’m going to be frank and admit that sometimes I get over-committed and it makes for a negative outcome for all of my work. I get whiny and start to complain. I am the first to admit that I do not “do tired” well… and I do not “do sick” well… and I am a picky eater! These can be pretty serious limitations. I do work hard, though… and I give 150%... and I am often the first one to arrive and the last one to leave (except for maybe my husband who works harder than anyone I know).
A little over two months ago, I decided to take a break. Actually, one of these days I am going to come back and dissect the phrase “take a break”, because it has grown a life of it’s own, and I really hate the phrase, but I did, indeed, decide to cut back on some (a lot) of my volunteer activities.
It was necessary, because I am currently very hugely pregnant and not feeling that amazingly great… (Please see above… does not do sick and tired well…)
The “people pleaser wannabe” in me wants to make a list, now, of all of the activities I have continued to participate in (sometimes against my better judgment or that of my doctor… who is my friend… so I can’t get away with as much as I might like… she will catch me)!
But it just occurred to me that I don’t owe anybody a list…
What I will say is this…
“YOU HAVE NO IDEA!”
There… I have said it… In fact I have yelled it in all caps… almost feels like the Lisa of old who didn’t mind if she stepped on a few toes (and seriously… If I stepped on your toes right now… It would hurt)…
I have learned… over many years of ministry… how to be humble (yep… I just said I’m humble… took that right from Moses…). And I have learned what it means to really care about people and the kinds of interactions and relationships that you must have with people in order to become a credible influence in their lives. I have learned to push… and to push… and to push until that amazing moment when you see someone finally grasp what it means to really follow Christ with their whole life. And I have learned to back off when it isn’t the right time. The hardest lesson I have learned is that I can’t force anything… on anyone… and that it’s not my job to save the world.
I have learned… to learn… from people who are older… and wiser… and more experienced than I am. And then I learned that lesson… again… when I thought I had it figured out… again. I have learned to take something positive from everyone I meet.
I have learned… to teach… people who are younger… and less knowledgeable… and inexperienced. And I know, with certainty, that if any of them are reading this, they may be offended… because I used to be there… I have learned to give something positive to everyone who will take it.
Everyone basically has a choice to make in life. It doesn’t have anything to do with whether you are a pessimist… or an optimist… an introvert… or an extrovert… It doesn’t even have anything to do with your personality or the way you were raised. Everyone has a choice whether to be part of the problem or part of the solution.
The way I see it, most people have no difficulty finding fault with the world. This is just human nature. But it’s what we do with those faults that really matters. And look… I know I’m not the answer… and neither are you…
But I’m all about transformation… And I’m all about making everybody welcome… and that’s a harder promise to fulfill all the time… But that’s primarily because people get selfish…
Ah… age old issue…
Lisa
And maybe it is…
And maybe it’s not…
I think I am still kind of egocentric. All of the psychology classes I’ve taken make it pretty clear that I should have outgrown this… oh… about a dozen years ago… but I haven’t… not completely…
The vast majority of the time, I think this is just a result of my overactive imagination that must somehow desire to be a people pleaser, deep down inside, even though I have never, ever been a people pleaser… in my whole life… ever.
I am, however, much better than I used to be at actually recognizing that other people exist and then going out of my way to help them in whatever way possible. It doesn’t come naturally to me, but I have learned to do it, because people matter. And I don’t want to sit here patting my own back all day long, but anybody who really knows me also knows that I will run myself into the ground for the sake of others, and that I would give someone the shirt off my back if they needed it. Again… no credit to me… I haven’t always been this way… And, again… I have to think about it. It takes effort on my part… I am no angel…
But I do like helping people.
I’m going to be frank and admit that sometimes I get over-committed and it makes for a negative outcome for all of my work. I get whiny and start to complain. I am the first to admit that I do not “do tired” well… and I do not “do sick” well… and I am a picky eater! These can be pretty serious limitations. I do work hard, though… and I give 150%... and I am often the first one to arrive and the last one to leave (except for maybe my husband who works harder than anyone I know).
A little over two months ago, I decided to take a break. Actually, one of these days I am going to come back and dissect the phrase “take a break”, because it has grown a life of it’s own, and I really hate the phrase, but I did, indeed, decide to cut back on some (a lot) of my volunteer activities.
It was necessary, because I am currently very hugely pregnant and not feeling that amazingly great… (Please see above… does not do sick and tired well…)
The “people pleaser wannabe” in me wants to make a list, now, of all of the activities I have continued to participate in (sometimes against my better judgment or that of my doctor… who is my friend… so I can’t get away with as much as I might like… she will catch me)!
But it just occurred to me that I don’t owe anybody a list…
What I will say is this…
“YOU HAVE NO IDEA!”
There… I have said it… In fact I have yelled it in all caps… almost feels like the Lisa of old who didn’t mind if she stepped on a few toes (and seriously… If I stepped on your toes right now… It would hurt)…
I have learned… over many years of ministry… how to be humble (yep… I just said I’m humble… took that right from Moses…). And I have learned what it means to really care about people and the kinds of interactions and relationships that you must have with people in order to become a credible influence in their lives. I have learned to push… and to push… and to push until that amazing moment when you see someone finally grasp what it means to really follow Christ with their whole life. And I have learned to back off when it isn’t the right time. The hardest lesson I have learned is that I can’t force anything… on anyone… and that it’s not my job to save the world.
I have learned… to learn… from people who are older… and wiser… and more experienced than I am. And then I learned that lesson… again… when I thought I had it figured out… again. I have learned to take something positive from everyone I meet.
I have learned… to teach… people who are younger… and less knowledgeable… and inexperienced. And I know, with certainty, that if any of them are reading this, they may be offended… because I used to be there… I have learned to give something positive to everyone who will take it.
Everyone basically has a choice to make in life. It doesn’t have anything to do with whether you are a pessimist… or an optimist… an introvert… or an extrovert… It doesn’t even have anything to do with your personality or the way you were raised. Everyone has a choice whether to be part of the problem or part of the solution.
The way I see it, most people have no difficulty finding fault with the world. This is just human nature. But it’s what we do with those faults that really matters. And look… I know I’m not the answer… and neither are you…
But I’m all about transformation… And I’m all about making everybody welcome… and that’s a harder promise to fulfill all the time… But that’s primarily because people get selfish…
Ah… age old issue…
Lisa
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