You're So Vain...

You probably think this post is about you…

And maybe it is…

And maybe it’s not…

I think I am still kind of egocentric. All of the psychology classes I’ve taken make it pretty clear that I should have outgrown this… oh… about a dozen years ago… but I haven’t… not completely…

The vast majority of the time, I think this is just a result of my overactive imagination that must somehow desire to be a people pleaser, deep down inside, even though I have never, ever been a people pleaser… in my whole life… ever.

I am, however, much better than I used to be at actually recognizing that other people exist and then going out of my way to help them in whatever way possible. It doesn’t come naturally to me, but I have learned to do it, because people matter. And I don’t want to sit here patting my own back all day long, but anybody who really knows me also knows that I will run myself into the ground for the sake of others, and that I would give someone the shirt off my back if they needed it. Again… no credit to me… I haven’t always been this way… And, again… I have to think about it. It takes effort on my part… I am no angel…

But I do like helping people.

I’m going to be frank and admit that sometimes I get over-committed and it makes for a negative outcome for all of my work. I get whiny and start to complain. I am the first to admit that I do not “do tired” well… and I do not “do sick” well… and I am a picky eater! These can be pretty serious limitations. I do work hard, though… and I give 150%... and I am often the first one to arrive and the last one to leave (except for maybe my husband who works harder than anyone I know).

A little over two months ago, I decided to take a break. Actually, one of these days I am going to come back and dissect the phrase “take a break”, because it has grown a life of it’s own, and I really hate the phrase, but I did, indeed, decide to cut back on some (a lot) of my volunteer activities.

It was necessary, because I am currently very hugely pregnant and not feeling that amazingly great… (Please see above… does not do sick and tired well…)

The “people pleaser wannabe” in me wants to make a list, now, of all of the activities I have continued to participate in (sometimes against my better judgment or that of my doctor… who is my friend… so I can’t get away with as much as I might like… she will catch me)!

But it just occurred to me that I don’t owe anybody a list…

What I will say is this…

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA!”

There… I have said it… In fact I have yelled it in all caps… almost feels like the Lisa of old who didn’t mind if she stepped on a few toes (and seriously… If I stepped on your toes right now… It would hurt)…

I have learned… over many years of ministry… how to be humble (yep… I just said I’m humble… took that right from Moses…). And I have learned what it means to really care about people and the kinds of interactions and relationships that you must have with people in order to become a credible influence in their lives. I have learned to push… and to push… and to push until that amazing moment when you see someone finally grasp what it means to really follow Christ with their whole life. And I have learned to back off when it isn’t the right time. The hardest lesson I have learned is that I can’t force anything… on anyone… and that it’s not my job to save the world.

I have learned… to learn… from people who are older… and wiser… and more experienced than I am. And then I learned that lesson… again… when I thought I had it figured out… again. I have learned to take something positive from everyone I meet.

I have learned… to teach… people who are younger… and less knowledgeable… and inexperienced. And I know, with certainty, that if any of them are reading this, they may be offended… because I used to be there… I have learned to give something positive to everyone who will take it.

Everyone basically has a choice to make in life. It doesn’t have anything to do with whether you are a pessimist… or an optimist… an introvert… or an extrovert… It doesn’t even have anything to do with your personality or the way you were raised. Everyone has a choice whether to be part of the problem or part of the solution.

The way I see it, most people have no difficulty finding fault with the world. This is just human nature. But it’s what we do with those faults that really matters. And look… I know I’m not the answer… and neither are you…

But I’m all about transformation… And I’m all about making everybody welcome… and that’s a harder promise to fulfill all the time… But that’s primarily because people get selfish…

Ah… age old issue…

Lisa