As a mommy of five, believe me, I know…
The weeks leading up to the birth of our Baby Princess were quite challenging, to say the least, so when my doctor said we could induce labor on March 29th, I was more than ready! Actually, I have never gone into labor on my own, so in combination with the various health reasons we had for an induction, I fully expected that this would be the case. A little before 6am on Monday, we headed down the road to the hospital to meet baby #5!
Upon entering the birthing suite, the nurses asked me, “Do you want to have a baby today?” to which, of course, I answered, “I sure do!” And thus began our adventure…
We got all the monitors going; I informed the nurse that I was going to be mobile if I wanted to, regardless of what her policy was (that’s learning from experience); for the first time in my life, I signed a release for an epidural (just in case), although I really didn’t intend to use it; the nurse managed to blow two veins in my left hand in attempts to start an IV (I had had an experience with this same nurse a few weeks back in which she blew one vein before successfully starting an IV, but when she blew two this time I was a little less than patient. I have huge veins that are really easy to hit, for crying out loud!) before calling another nurse to do it; and finally, at 7:20, they got the pitocin pumping!
In my past experience, that means contractions start hard and fast! Ian was born 4 hours and 45 minutes after the pitocin got going, so I was kind of hoping for some quick action! However, 40 minutes later when June came in to check and see how things were going, I was still dilated to 1, 50% effaced, no contractions. She broke my water. Now, 3 out of 4 of my other children were born within an hour of my water breaking (whether it broke on its own or with a little help). June tried to get an internal monitor going at this point, but the baby was way too high still, so we continued to fight with the external monitor. 9:00 came and went without contractions or progress of any kind.
By 10:00, however, I was starting to have some very intense contractions, and when June checked me again I was at 3. Uh… 3? I wasn’t too happy about that… did I mention these were intense contractions… but at least it was progress. These very intense contractions continued, and I started to think to myself, “This feels like my labor with Caleb!” At some point, I also remember saying this. And my mind started turning…
*** “Hmmm… maybe taking an epidural wouldn’t be the ultimate failure in childbirth… I mean… I have done this naturally four times… Shouldn’t any mother of five know what it’s like to deliver with the help of drugs at least once? Maybe I’m just a wimp in my old age… I really shouldn’t do this, right? Do I really want somebody sticking a needle in my back? Could it possibly hurt worse than this? I’m starting to sound like I did when I delivered Caleb. This could get embarrassing. If I had it to do all over again, would I take drugs with Caleb? Yes. Yes, I would.***
And then I asked Phil, should I take the epidural? And he kind of looked at me like I just asked if I should jump from the precipice of the Grand Canyon, which caused me to wonder if he would be terribly disappointed if I took the epidural. However, he quickly followed this funny look with, “I can’t tell you what to do. You have to do what’s best for you” (or something like that), and I made a quick decision. I would labor until noon, and if I hadn’t dilated past 5 I would take the drugs…
At 11:45, the pain was nearly unbearable, and I was sure I must be getting close to delivery, so I called the nurse to come check. My cervix was still so high that she couldn’t even tell what I was dilated to, but June came back and let me know that I was still at 3, 50% effaced (seriously?). And I said, “I WANT THE EPIDURAL (again, words I never really thought I would utter)!”
Now, anyone who has ever experienced childbirth and come to a point at which she determined that she needed an epidural can probably testify to the fact that this means, “I WANT IT NOW!” That’s not exactly how it works, though. Apparently, it is really important to take a whole bag of IV fluids first, and if the anesthesiologist happens to be in surgery somewhere else in the hospital, well, you just have to wait. An hour later, it was time for the epidural…
Now I have to be honest… I am not a real fan of needles, and the thought of an epidural has actually been far more anxiety provoking than the thought of natural childbirth, in the past. For just a brief moment, I thought, maybe I don’t really want to do this. Then, another monster contraction hit, and I was sold!
Truthfully, the epidural didn’t hurt. At least, it didn’t hurt worth talking about in comparison to the pain I was in. It did feel a little weird when he put the epidural catheter in, because I have watched way too many labor and delivery videos, and I was able to visualize that the weird feeling in my back was a piece of plastic slipping into my spine (which just about made me want to throw up), but there wasn’t pain involved.
My biggest concern at this point was that I do not like losing control, and I assumed that I would be unable to move my lower body once the epidural was in place. Not so. Although I was certainly numb and had that sensation like when your legs fall asleep, I was still perfectly capable of moving my legs, wiggling my toes, etc, and that was very reassuring. It was so bizarre, though, to stop feeling the contractions, and for a brief moment I was slightly panicked that they had stopped! The nurse (and the monitor) were able to assure me that they were still coming just as strong, but the epidural was doing it’s job. It was really a rather amazing feeling (or lack thereof), and I felt very much validated in my decision when Phil said, “This is going to make the experience so much better for you,” which it did.
June checked me again, and I was at 4-5, 70% effaced, and it was determined that I was not able to progress before the epidural, because my body was not relaxing between contractions… good choice… It was mentioned at this point, however, that there was a very real possibility that the baby wasn’t moving down because the cord was around her neck. This doesn’t rank up there as one of the top 10 things you want to hear while in labor. I asked June what we would do about that, and she said that sometimes it was possible to move the cord. She didn’t give me any other options, but my mind started racing anyway…
At 1:45, I started to feel a lot of pressure in my upper thighs. I called the nurse, because I figured I wasn’t feeling anything, at all, before, so maybe that pressure meant something. She said she would check me again, and her eyes got pretty big! I was completely dilated and effaced and ready to push! She called June in, and the process of really bringing a baby into the world got started!
It was very strange to not know when, exactly, to push. June and the nurse had to tell me when to push, since I couldn’t feel the contractions. Phil told me later that it was also a little strange that I made no noise. Without feeling the pain, there was really no need. He said it was like watching a silent movie…
It became apparent pretty quickly that the cord was, indeed, wrapped around Baby Princess’ neck, and that I was having a terrible time pushing through these contractions that I couldn’t feel. My other babies came flying out with just a few pushes, but now I felt very frustrated and even said, “I can’t push her out!” Thankfully, June is very competent and patient and kept talking me through each push.
Probably the most terrifying moment of my life, to this point, came when June cut the cord before the baby was delivered. It was the only way to get her out. She put my baby girl up on my tummy, and she was a terrible gray like color and not crying, and I kept saying, “Is she OK? Why isn’t she crying?” And June kept saying, “She’s going to be OK”:
She cut the cord in a second place, and then they moved Baby Princess over to the warmer and called for respiratory staff and gave her oxygen. Needless to say, we didn’t get as many pictures as we usually do, right away, because there were four staff people around her for the first 15 minutes of her life:
I’m not sure I’ve ever heard a more beautiful sound than Baby Princess’ little cries, although they sure weren’t as loud and boisterous as our other kids’ first screams! From across the room, one of the nurses “warned” me that her face was really bruised, and I thought (and said), “No big deal… Seth and Caleb’s faces were bruised at birth, too. It was a huge relief when they handed her back to me, although I was somewhat shocked at the extent of bruising! My poor little princess was black and blue and her left eye was completely bloodshot! Still, she snuggled in, latched right on, and nursed for 45 minutes, and I found her very, very beautiful, covered with lanugo and all! (One of the nurses said she had been working in labor and delivery for 20 years and had never seen a “cheesier” full term baby)…
After an hour or so, things settled down and Phil went to get the kids and Grandma to meet the new baby! When the kids came in, we revealed her name for the first time: Miah Irene! Miah means princess, and Irene means peace. I would say that to this point she has lived up to her name in every way. Irene was also my Nana’s name and Phil’s Great-Grandma’s middle name, so there is some very special family connection there, in honor of them.
It was fun to see our whole gang together for the first time! Ian was slightly disappointed and informed me that he “wanted the baby to be a girl!” I’m not sure why he thought she wasn’t a girl, but I think we have him convinced now that she is. Caleb has been a little disappointed all along, because he wanted another brother, but after we got Miah home yesterday and everyone was in bed, Caleb asked if he could hold her. I haven’t seen him pass by her since then without reminding her of how cute she is. Seth and Grace were just happy to see her and hold her, and they liked her name, even though they informed me that they “never would have thought of it!”
We spent the next two nights in the hospital getting close to no sleep at all, but I guess that’s the way it goes! We had lots of wonderful visitors, and we were so happy when it was time to go home and begin life as it will be with our completed family.
I have to be honest and say that it was a little bit sad to leave the hospital, because this is the last time. I have a feeling that everything Miah does will be just a touch bittersweet, but she is definitely our baby, and we could not be happier with her and the way she finishes our family if we tried. Welcome to our world, Miah Irene! We love you!
Lisa
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