Today is an anniversary of sorts…
As I began this post, I thought about how it is the anniversary of the end of something… a sad sort of anniversary… one of those days that you don’t want to celebrate perennially… heck, one of those days that you really don’t want to remember at all… but you do… every year…
Ironically, the subject came up last night at dinner… with the kids, no less… and I found myself grappling for the words to explain so that my almost nine and ten year olds could understand why it is that we can’t just call up old friends and invite ourselves over to play… And it completely sucks to have nothing left to say but, “Well, (insert friend’s name here)’s family just doesn’t like us anymore”. (Not to mention the fact that that friend probably doesn’t even remember you’re alive, even though you have never forgotten.) And then as if that wasn’t hard enough, the answer that sustained these guys for the past five years suddenly wasn’t quite enough anymore, and the follow up came, “Why, Mom?”
I believe in being honest. In fact, I am sometimes so honest that I have been accused of having no tact… at all… I believe that when you’re at fault, you should take the blame. And so I do take the blame… almost every single time there is blame to be taken… because I also believe that it is nearly impossible to have a falling out with someone if you aren’t at least partially to blame in some way, whether by perception or reality. I have often taken the blame in situations, only to put them to rest. I have rarely had someone return and apologize to me… even when they were primarily at fault. I have on several occasions returned and apologized to someone else… even when I was primarily not at fault. And for the most part, I’m OK with that. But in this moment… over my cheese stuffed crust pizza (Oh, Pizza Hut… the irony continues)… looking into the faces of my kids… I decided that I really didn’t think I needed to take the fall for something I didn’t do… even if the general consensus remains that I was the problem…
And so the story began to unfold… the abridged version of course… in which I explained the principles of human nature that cause us to hate people because of who they are not…
I guess my tale was good enough, because when I was finished, Grace had put the anniversary thing together and told me that we should throw a party! I laughed (you know… that sinister, sardonic, sarcastic kind of under your breath chuckle). But now that I’ve had time to sleep on it, I think she might be right…
Because every event that marks the end of something must surely mark the beginning of something else…
And so the book has been a long time in coming…
I highly doubt it will ever be published except for my desire to print a few copies for myself…
But on this day, I will begin to release it one chapter at a time.
If you’re interested in my side of the story, please visit:
www.4yearjourneybook.blogspot.com
And somehow… I now find myself wondering whether I want to yell, “Let it Begin!” like Rhino… from Bolt… or, “It’s a Good Day to Die”… like the same character…
Lisa
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