OK...

You’ve got my attention…

I think that maybe… just maybe…  God is trying to tell me something.

I have been walking around for the past week or so… sometimes talking to myself… sometimes nearly shouting, “What is it that I’m missing?”  Don’t worry about me or anything…  I mean… not any more than usual anyway…  I’m not losing it…  Sometimes I just have to process things out loud…

So, in the midst of this, I’ve also had Jennifer Knapp’s 1998 release, “In the Name,” stuck in my head for seemingly forever, and then I think it was yesterday, I “liked” some Facebook status with Scripture in it.  It was also yesterday that I picked up, Oswald Chambers’, “My Utmost for His Highest,” for the first time in maybe… years?  And all of this culminated with Psalm 20.  To which I probably would have said something like, “well… duh…” if I’d read it a few days ago, but to which I said something more like, “oh…” today.  That might not make much of a difference to you.  That’s OK.  It made a huge difference to me.

Let me just give you the whole thing…  It’s only nine verses, and Scripture is always better in context, anyway…

Psalm 20 (NIV)

May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;
    may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May he send you help from the sanctuary
    and grant you support from Zion.
May he remember all your sacrifices
    and accept your burnt offerings. Selah
May he give you the desire of your heart
    and make all your plans succeed.
We will shout for joy when you are victorious
    and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the Lord grant all your requests.

Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;
    he answers him from his holy heaven
    with the saving power of his right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
    but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
They are brought to their knees and fall,
    but we rise up and stand firm.

O Lord, save the king!
    Answer us when we call!

And, hey, while I’m at it…  How about that song?

“In the Name”

By: Jennifer Knapp

All these years too many ahead to think clear

Some say where's my crystal ball

Some men play the lottery

Makin' bets against the government’s economy

They say I'd rather be rich than be alive at all

When men in miry circumstances fall

It won't be hard to tell where they placed their resolve

Some trust in chariots

But we trust in the name of the Lord, our God

To each his own won't lead you home

It probably never will
I won't trust in the things I do

They will not stand, and they won't come through

So I'll trust in the name of the Lord, my God

I'll trust in the name

Picket fences may build up our defenses

In domestic wars of leisure suits

That's okay, it doesn't bother me

You can hold onto your philosophy

Of what's mine is mine, what's yours is yours

But what’s the truth?

When the walls do crumble and they fall

It won't be hard to tell where we place our resolve

Some trust in chariots

But we trust in the name of the Lord, our God

To each His own won't lead you home

It probably never will
I won't trust in the things I do

They will not stand, and they won't come through

So I'll trust in the name of the Lord, my God

I'll trust in the name

When the walls do crumble

What will I find to hold on to  

That's stronger than my Jesus

Sing Hallelujah

Hallelujah

When the walls do crumble and they fall

It won't be hard to see where we place our resolve

Some trust in chariots

But we trust in the name of the Lord, our God

To each his own won't lead you home

It probably never will
I won't trust in the things I do

They will not stand, and they won't come through

So I'll trust in the name of the Lord, my God

I'll trust in the name

So, here’s the thing…

It wasn’t like I was trying or anything, but I think I tucked this whole concept far back in some corner of my mind somewhere.  I think I forgot that there is absolutely nothing I can do.  Even absolutely nothing I should do.  And believe me…  I’ve tried just about everything I could think of this week.  I’m going to laugh about this later, but did I mention I both published a book this week and broke every last bit of appropriate Pastor’s wife protocol I’ve ever known…  all while sending out more resumes and filing more applications than any normal person would ever consider at one time?  And that’s just for starters…  (And none of it was inherently bad or wrong, either, just to make that clear… in fact some of it really needed to be done… maybe all of it…  but all at once?  And I don’t even drink coffee…)

And so I breathe in… again… and I breathe out… again… And for the first time in a couple of months, I’m actually not at a loss for what to do next.  I’m not going to do anything next… except trust…

L.