I Will Choose To Be Thankful...

Life doesn't always pan out the way I plan it.  Alright...  Let's be real.  Life almost never pans out the way I plan it.  It's OK.

And so I find myself, on this beautiful first day of October, breathing in... and breathing out... and wondering which direction to take from here. 

I cannot begin to promise that the tears have all been shed.  I think, maybe, they have been.  But I know I am still processing things, and that might take hours or years.  Sometimes it comes to me in bits and pieces.

However, I woke up, this morning, thinking about my blessings.  It was a good way to wake up.

And so, I am thankful.

I am thankful for God... God who has never failed us... God who will not break character and begin failing today... or tomorrow... or ever...  I am thankful for who God is.

I am thankful for Phil... Phil who understands my heart, even when there are no words... We've lived a lot of life together... Words are overrated...

I am thankful for Seth... Seth who is becoming who I always hoped he'd be, right in front of my eyes...

I am thankful for Grace... Grace who is so full of worship today I can almost taste it...

I am thankful for Caleb... Caleb who senses everything and loves unconditionally anyway...

I am thankful for Ian... Ian who knows what it is to be a true nonconformist and will likely change the world someday...

I am thankful for Miah... Miah who completes us and requires energy levels that I no longer thought I possessed, keeping me young...

I am thankful for family members and friends who will read this post and have the grace to pray and not to ask more questions than I can answer... and who might even like my link on Facebook...

I am thankful for ministry opportunities, and especially for Brandy, Lacee, Bri, Nathan, and Stephen who remind me, constantly, how life changes... and shifts... and grows and how things that seem like the end of the world often aren't...

I am thankful for NNU's spiritual formation program which has provided me with new friends and a safe place to share even the things I can't begin to post here...

I am thankful for Nancy, my spiritual director, who has already made a huge impact on my life and continues to do so in humility...

I am thankful for the small circle of ladies who have shown up sort of unexpectedly and worked their way into my life, even when I wasn't looking for them... For Kelly, Suzanne, and Brandi, who pray for us and never respond to my messages with anything but grace and love, even when I'm sure what I share is raw...

I am thankful for our house.  I love this house, even though it doesn't have enough bedrooms.  I am also thankful, however, for the reminder that it is just wood... and drywall... and paint... and carpet that really needs to be replaced...

I am thankful for cupboards and a refrigerator full of food...

I am thankful for my camera... and my other camera... and my other camera... and my other camera that I let Phil use...

I am thankful that my children have had every opportunity possible, even when it seemed impossible...

I am thankful for wonderful memories, and especially for vacation memories, because I love vacationing...

I am thankful for the ability to wake up and accept substitute teaching jobs that make me crazy and for the excellent phone interview I had, just now, in the midst of writing this...

And now, perhaps, I am getting random.

Here's the point, though.  I am really blessed.  I have far too many blessings sitting right in front of my face to spend any amount of time worrying about what I don't have.

God provides.  Always has.  Always will.

L.