Why 5 Is Enough For Us (Part 1)…

I am having the extreme pleasure of watching a friend’s baby today. Ella is two weeks old. She is beautiful, and she is exceptionally good. As of this writing, I have had her for almost five hours and she has cried twice… for about 15 seconds each time. I hope Brandy needs me to watch her on occasion, because I am loving every minute of it.

However…

I think something must have changed in me at some point, because up until today all of the little “last firsts” with Miah have been very sad for me. I have nearly been dreading Miah’s birthday next month as it gets closer and closer, because it will mark the end of the “baby year”, and therefore the end of our “baby years”.

But I realized something as I was snuggling Ms. Ella while Miah tried with all of her might to tackle us (don’t worry Brandy… she did not succeed… that’s what older siblings are for)… I don’t want another baby. I totally love Ella. As the years go by and my friends continue to produce offspring, I think it should be a law that they have to leave them with me for a full day at two weeks old. But Miah is… and forever more shall be… my baby.

OK… so never say never, right?

I may wake up on my 40th birthday and just have to have another one in order to survive. If that happens, then fine. I will grow old changing diapers. However, at this particular moment, I sure don’t think so.

There is a lot more to this… But it has to be a two parter (at least), because I have an awful lot of little people who need me now!

Lisa

My Thoughts on Snow Days…

The truth is… as a kid… I lived for snow days! I mean, really… who didn’t? I had the phone number for the bus garage memorized, and I kept my purple phone by the head of my bed (not a cell phone, mind you… just a good old land line). That way, I could dial the number, listen to the automated message, and if school was closed; I could roll over and resume my hibernation for a couple of extra hours! Later, of course, I would get into all of my snow gear and play outside (most often sledding in my own backyard with the neighborhood kids). Looking back on it, it feels as if we stayed out for hours. I’m not sure if that’s accurate, though, because it seems that my own kids only make it 1 – 1 ½ hours tops… and maybe I wasn’t really a whole lot more resilient. When I was done playing outside, there was ample hot chocolate waiting for me in the kitchen.

This kind of thing happened maybe once a year… The only exception was the true blizzard we had when I was probably 9 or 10. It was a really bad idea to go out and play in that one, because the snow was covered with ice, and I fell and smashed my face in it… I think we got two days for that one…

At any rate, I grew up in Michigan. If you grow up in Michigan and you have a responsible parent, he or she takes you outside when you are 15 and the roads are covered with ice. He or she then says, “Here are the keys… it’s a good day to learn how to drive!” You get into the car, and you are expected to go from 0 to 120 in 3 seconds. You are then instructed to hit the brakes as hard as you can, and if you can regain control of the vehicle, you are allowed to take Driver’s Ed. the following summer. If you crash the car, you are banned from driving until you turn 31. That’s just how you have to do it in Michigan. (And, as a sidenote, this can all take place in your driveway, or at the very most, on your private dirt road, while all of your neighbors watch and shield their children from possible disaster.

Exaggeration? Maybe a little… but I really did learn to drive on sleet…

I also remember countless days, trying to make my way to the school bus and slipping and falling on the ice. It happened every year. It was embarrassing.

Now, I am all for caution! If you are uncomfortable driving on the roads, then by all means, PLEASE stay off of them. I say this for your safety as well as my own. The truth is; I don’t really worry a whole lot about my own driving abilities in the snow… and on the ice. But I do worry a great deal about other drivers. I am an extremely defensive driver in the winter months, because I know full well that not everybody learned to drive in Michigan. It scares me that an awful lot of people think you can drive just as fast as usual over the ice and they don’t leave extra time to brake. These two mistakes are often very costly. That’s precisely why Michigan parents have their children make these mistakes on purpose. Once you’ve tried it, you’ll never want to do it again!

I guess all of these thoughts came from the debates I’ve seen going on this week on facebook. I realized, yesterday, that people are starting to get a little upset with one another over whether this stuff is safe to drive in or not. Then it occurred to me that I was probably falling way on the “apathetic about snow and ice” side, and I wanted to share a little bit of background. People who do not feel safe or who do not have experience driving in this should not do so! I value all of my friends, and I would not want any of them to meet a tragic fate because of this weather. However, I do not really think it is treacherous out there if you are used to the snow and ice and know how to handle it properly. That said, I haven’t left the house since Sunday. I have had no need to go out, since the refrigerator is stocked (thanks, Phil), and all of the kids classes have been cancelled all week.

If you cannot avoid going out, and snow and ice make you nervous, PLEASE drive very slowly and carefully, do not hit your brakes hard (you really shouldn’t need to if you’re driving very slowly and carefully), use your lights (even during the day), make sure you’re not going any faster than your visibility allows, watch for other drivers (maybe the very most important), and if you have to pull over and call off, then do it! Although I have heard the argument that some people cannot afford to miss a day of work, I’m still thinking it’s better for your family if you miss one day than it is if you are killed trying to get there and miss the rest of your life!

Realistically, do I think the local schools needed to call another snow day today? No… I don’t. I think this makes the 4th or 5th snow day this year. As you probably know, we homeschool. We did, indeed, give in and take a snow day yesterday, but that has been our only one. We are currently involved in the two weeks a year when I teach for the ITBS. Although I find standardized testing to be quite important; I tend to be able to cover anything we’ve missed in a week or two. But this is a story for another day… probably later this month…

Drive Safe!

Lisa

Love... This... Song...

Hold On
By: Toby Mac

Wake up to the morning light
wipe away the lonely nights
let a brand new day wash over you,
Wanna see you smile again
show some love to your crazy friends
wipe your tears away
those days are through

If you move just a little bit closer you can put your head on my shoulder
Yeah, yeah

So baby hold on
just another day or two
I can see the clouds are
moving faster now
and the sun is breaking through
If you can hold on, to the one that's holding you
there is nothing that can
stop this crazy love
from breaking through

We're breaking through
We're breaking through

Wake up to the morning sun
thank the Lord for the
things He's done
lift your eyes up to the
hope that's ever true
Wanna see you smiling girl
you're a light in this jaded world
wipe away those tears
this one's for you

Come on, move a little bit closer, you can put your head on my shoulder
Yeah, yeah

So baby hold on
just another day or two
I can see the clouds are
moving faster now
and the sun is breaking through
If you can hold on, to the one that's holding you
there is nothing that can
stop this crazy love
from breaking through

And the stars are up there
shining for you
oh, the Father does adore you
His love will never change
And you and I
we were born to follow
the hope that will lead us to tomorrow
and no one can take it away

So baby hold on
just another day or two
I can see the clouds are
moving faster now
and the sun is breaking through
If you could hold on
to the one that's holding you
there is nothing that can stop this crazy, crazy love from breaking

You see the clouds are
moving faster now
the clouds are moving faster

You see the clouds are
moving faster now
And the sun is breaking through

We're breaking through

Lisa

And So It Begins…

I think Middle School has affected my whole life. I really never wanted to admit that publicly… but I guess I just did… Oh, the joys of blogging…

Let us be very clear about one thing… If you are as unfortunate as to own a pictorial dictionary from 1991, you could look up the word, “nerd”, and my school photograph would appear. I was even going to go as far as to scan and post this photograph, but when I looked for it with my other school pictures, it was missing! Even my 5th grade picture in which I look like Medusa is there, but the one from 7th grade? Nowhere to be found. And I never dispose of a picture, so it must have been as bad as I remember it…

For the sake of argument, let me just describe it…

Mushroom style haircut… huge, black, plastic frame glasses… long gold chain… orange t-shirt to match my orange lipstick (and it wasn’t even the year I accidentally stripped my hair bright orange with something permanent until it grew out)… Need I say more? (Well… yes… just one more thing… If you happen to have that picture, will you please scan it and insert it in a comment… and then burn it…)

At any rate… Middle School wasn’t real kind to me…

I had a good friend in elementary school who, much to my dismay, became quite popular and left me behind. I remember that she came over once when we were in 7th grade… under the condition that I would not tell anyone she came over. On that visit, I flat out asked her why I wasn’t popular (I have never been one to mince words). She said a lot of it had to do with my clothes. That was supposed to be remedied, in part, by the fact that I had made the basketball cheerleading squad (after 5 years of football cheerleading, I was good at it… probably much to the dismay of some other people), and we were required to wear our uniforms to school twice a week. I mean… really? I only had to come up with three decent outfits and I could be living the dream of popularity? Sounds too good to be true… And it was. Those other girls on the squad were so mean I got physically sick. I quit after the first game (I did go on to cheer for football one more year, but the demands of High School cheerleading and the attitudes involved were more than I wanted to deal with, even though I would have loved to continue in the sport, itself).

That conversation about clothing never left my mind, though, and even though I didn’t figure it out until years later; I probably wouldn’t appear on “What Not to Wear” now… Well… I mean… right now? That’s a different story, because quite honestly I’m sitting at my computer in a bright orange t-shirt (how ironic)… uh… with a Jack-O-Lantern on it… and worn out grey sweats… But I really don’t wear these things out in public, except on Halloween… They are my PJs… Please don’t come ring my doorbell…

Normally though… I’m not exactly a diva, but I did learn after my High School graduation that Old Navy is a store, not just a brand (and, yes, I had to ask this in 1997… three years after Old Navy opened), and I traded in my wardrobe for something just a little more “upscale”… at least when I planned to leave the house…

Over the years, I also traded my huge plastic frames for some small, semi-frameless ones (and contacts on occasion), I stopped wearing orange (mostly… and definitely in the lipstick department), and although I never have gotten exceptionally good at hair; I can pull the curls into a decent up-do, spray with glitter, and add a tiara, if my life depends on it… and I know how to use a straightener when I have an extra hour of free time (which basically means never, but there is hope for me in a couple of decades)! I don’t expect that anyone would look at my 7th grade school picture, now, and say, “Wow! You haven’t changed a bit!”… except maybe my brother-in-law, who compared me to Weird Al last summer…

When I started having children, I basically determined that they would be well dressed. The first step was; I banned cute little animals on their clothing from day 1 (much to my mother’s chagrin). It took some time, but once Seth was probably 3, Grace was 2, and Caleb was coming into the world; I had learned to shop off season and at outlet stores and consignment stores for places and brands like the aforementioned Old Navy, Gap Kids, The Children’s Place, and Osh Kosh. Around the house, we still wore a lot of sweats, but when we went out, the kids looked good enough that people would comment on how much I spent on clothes (My goodness… it just never ends, does it? Either your clothes aren’t good enough, or you’re a rich snot…)! I will admit that I have snapped just a little bit with Miah, and I actually paid full price for a dress from Hannah Anderson this past Christmas. I am embarrassed to admit that, because I really do try to be frugal with our clothing budget. Sometimes, though, that materialistic feeling creeps up, and although I usually can avoid it; I clicked “make purchase” before I really thought it through and have spent the past few months making sure Miah wears that dress three times a week so I’ll get my money’s worth. The dress went on sale for 70% off after Christmas. I have kicked myself repeatedly…

My favorite comments, lately, have been on my shoes. Let me just say that since I wear my fit flops, exclusively, 9-10 months out of the year, I don’t think any woman who possesses 30-130 pairs of shoes should question my judgment on how much I paid (and I just might buy another pair this spring… take that!) Further… I got my Sketchers shape-ups as a Christmas gift from my mother-in-law… and why the heck do 4th grade little boys comment on my Sketchers during children’s worship?

Was there a point to this post? Oh yeah… That was all just background information… Here comes the real story…

Grace is nine years old… 4th grade. She recently started cheerleading… for basketball. I am not quite sure why I decided to put myself through this, but I guess it’s because she wanted to do it, and the boys are playing basketball (which is a series of funny stories in and of itself… especially with Caleb who is not very athletic… although he does have the build to be… and who is loving every minute of it, even though he cannot hit the net and runs with the ball…)

Last week, Grace wore her pink athletic clothes to practice. They are very cute. The pants are from Osh Kosh. When we got there, however, every other little girl had a white turtleneck on, and they were all expected to change into their uniforms to film video clips that will run for the whole season. The uniforms are red and grey. Grace had to wear her pink t-shirt under the uniform. I was distressed. Ironically, we have apparently taught Grace not to worry about her appearance (Mommy does that for her) or what other people think (Realistically, she’s freaking beautiful, so what is there to worry about anyway)… I think she noticed that I was sinking into the wall, because she came over to inform me that the pink shirt looked fine with her uniform and that I shouldn’t worry about it. The pink shirt really didn’t look fine, but I want to make it clear that I wasn’t embarrassed about how she looked. On the contrary, I was exceptionally proud of her character and her lack of concern over it. What I was embarrassed about was how this made me feel like a failure of a mom. Seriously, Lisa?

So tonight we were off to practice again. I still can’t find a stinkin’ white turtleneck anywhere, but she wore a white long sleeved shirt under her uniform, and it looked fine. I pulled her hair up into a ponytail and then didn’t pull it through all the way, fluffed it, sprayed the curls, and added a matching ribbon. She was picture perfect… too bad the video shoot was last week, huh? There… great mom, right?

I don’t go to Grace’s practices, because they overlap with Caleb’s, and reason says that you let your responsible nine year old do her thing while you watch you six year old and pray you won’t have to intervene because he has relapsed into tornado mode (so far, so good by the way)…

On our way home, Grace says to me, “Mom, why did you leave part of my hair up?”
And I reply, “Because it was cute that way?”
Then Grace says, “One of the girls asked me what happened to my hair?”
And I say, “Did she say that rudely?”
To which Grace replies, “No.”
And I think, “Yeah… right…” But I do not say this…

And then I got quiet… and reflective… and I started to look like that gangly seventh grader again… at least on the inside…

After a few minutes pass, Grace says, “I just thought I should tell you. Maybe you should just make a regular ponytail next time”
And I think for just a moment and then put my happy Mommy voice into action and reply, “It’s OK. Just remind me not to do it that way again.”

And Grace is happy…

And if Grace is happy, then I’m happy…

But it’s kind of a process for me to work through…

Am I going to regret what this cheerleading thing does to my daughter? I don’t think I will if it just comes down to questions like, “How much hair do we pull through the ponytail holder”… but it kind of bothers me that the kid who didn’t care that her clothes didn’t match last week is even thinking about this kind of thing…

Is this all just part of growing up? Maybe I need to do that…

Lisa

New Year...

I don't really have any great assumptions anymore about New Year's Day. Change is not bound by the turning of the calendar. But, traditionally, it's a good time to start fresh... This year, I just want to be the person God wants me to be...


New Year by Charlie Hall:

My heart beats like a drum, flying up with the sun, I grab Your hand again

Renovated with life, my eyes again bright, and You are radiant

Where hope can hold the hand of sorrow and we can walk into tomorrow

Where peace is found in troubled days and the joy of Jesus carries pain

This is a new year, this is new day, to rise shine, lift up your eyes

This is a new year, this is a new day to rise shine,

and point the way to God’s great life

I’m held in a place, a beautiful space where heaven meets the earth

My heart opens wide and the Father pours life deep inside my soul

Where hope can hold the hand of sorrow and we can walk into tomorrow

Where peace is found in troubled days and the joy of Jesus carries pain

This is a new year, this is new day, to rise shine, lift up your eyes

This is a new year, this is a new day to rise shine,

and point the way to God’s great life

Lyrics by Charlie Hall and Kendall Combes

Music by Charlie Hall

© 2007 sixsteps records

Mommy Is Fierce…

Yesterday was our annual trip to Fort Wayne for “Last Minute Madness”! We take a busload of teenagers, usually a carload of college aged students, and our van… full of (of course) my family! Yesterday we also took Ms. Brandy (and baby Ella… inside Ms. Brandy) along, since I still have one available seat in the van if Phil is driving the bus!

The first part of the trip involves shopping at the mall, and the second part of the trip involves lazer tag (at which point, I go back to the mall with anyone who isn’t old enough/big enough to play lazer tag).

First part of the day went well…

Except for the fact that I had the worst food at Chick-Fil-A that I have ever had, which was a huge disappointment, because I love Chick-Fil-A and have never had a bad experience there before. I am guessing it was the combination of a mall based store mixed with the busyness of December 23^rd shoppers…

At any rate, I got a couple of great deals at Sears (a Christmas dress for Miah next year and footie PJs for Grace, because she has been begging for them and it’s hard to find them in her size!), and I enjoyed running around the mall, trying to figure out which stores to come back to once I’d left my 3 “big kids” with Phil at the lazer tag place!

This was the first year that Caleb was old enough to play lazer tag (although even Ian would be tall enough by their standards, but I cannot imagine him wearing the lazer tag gear)! Caleb was beyond excited about this adventure, and Seth and Grace were pretty stoked, too, because they look forward to this event for weeks… maybe months! We have a super amazing group of teens and college aged students, and my understanding is that they helped the kids a lot and didn’t get nasty if their teams got behind because of “little people” or anything like that… Seth actually even had one game in which he was the top scoring player! Exciting stuff!

Meanwhile… back at the mall…

Brandy (& Ella), Ian, Miah, and I had some fun at Build-A-Bear workshop, which is quickly becoming a tradition for my “less than lazer tag size” crew! Ian originally wanted to build an abominable snowman. I talked him out of that, so we ended up with a Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer that talks… and sings… and has a nose that lights up… and roller skates… and a hat and scarf… This was expensive. Miah got a Build-A-Bunny, whom we named “Snuggle”. Snuggle has a Christmas dress and hat, bows, and shiny red shoes. This also was expensive… but not as expensive. Thankfully, since I am a dork… my coupons and gift cards cut the total by 1/3 at the checkout. That’s all you really have to know about the price, because it was still outrageous!

We hit up the taffy and fudge counter (thus making me the hero of the day when we finally did hook up with the rest of the fam. again), I bought myself a Christmas present (100% organic soap… yeah… that “L” is showing up darker and darker on my forehead every day…), and then we stopped at Dairy Queen/Orange Julius, where I has a very large three berry smoothie, Ian had a very large, “small” chocolate ice cream cone, Brandy had a small Orange Julius, Ella had vanilla ice cream, and Miah had milk… After that it was a quick spin (quite literally) on the double decker carousel, and then we were off to re-claim my oldest three…

Phil had called me a little earlier to let me know that Caleb was exhausted. Later on, Caleb told me that he had fun, but lazer tag was nothing like he thought it would be. I asked him what he thought it would be like, but he wouldn’t tell me!

When I got there, I found Phil and Grace, and Grace was crying! This was surprising to me, because if I am going to find a crying child, Grace would be my last guess… every time! As it turns out, some lady accused her of swinging her lazer gun and hitting people with it… uh… this really doesn’t sound like Grace… at all. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not one of those people who thinks her children can do no wrong. I discipline my kids when they’re out of line. Grace is an amazing kid, but she does do things, sometimes, that are not OK. If I had gotten there and found that someone had accused her of screaming at the top of her lungs when someone shot a lazer at her and then running through the room whining and insisting that she had not been hit and someone should turn her light back on because of the unfairness in the world, I would have immediately talked to her about her attitude and proper etiquette in public places. I would have known that she had done this. But intentionally swinging a gun at people and hitting them with it? No… just not Grace…

Apparently, the lady immediately exited that round of lazer tag and came to Phil, defending herself and telling him about Grace hitting people… We found that kind of weird, since no one had accused her of anything… yet…

Phil and I talked to Grace, got her calmed down, and figured this was the end of a silly little mishap… Our best guess, at this point, is that Grace really was “swinging” her gun… in a childlike, “hey lazer tag is so much fun and I’m excited” kind of way, and maybe it accidentally bumped the woman in question. Grace insists that even this did not happen, but I am pretty sure that in the dark (mind you) it could have and Grace wouldn’t have even realized it!

At any rate, I collected Caleb (and Seth, who was wearing out, too), and we went back to the van where Brandy (& Ella), Ian, and Miah were waiting. Grace had opted to play the last game of the day (which I considered playing, myself, but didn’t really want to pay the $7.00 for just one game). We ate some taffy and fudge and waited for the day to finish up…

Well… it wasn’t 10 minutes later, and Grace comes out to the van, really crying. In a state of confusion, I ask her what happened, and she tells me she hurt her toe. Really? OK… so I tell her to hop in, and we determine that the injury is not life threatening. I pass some taffy back to her, and she exclaims, “And that’s not all… one of the people who said I was hitting people with my lazer gun came up to me and started swinging her gun at me!” Now… that makes more sense as to why my lazer tag obsessed 9 year old daughter would leave the game early! She was scared!

I found Phil immediately and asked for more details about this woman who originally accused Grace. I then told him how inappropriate it is for an adult to swing a blunt object at my child (not that he didn’t already know this) and marched my way back into the building. Phil was right behind me within a second or two. It’s really no secret that I have a hot temper if you mess with my kids, and I think he wanted to make sure I didn’t totally ruin the reputation of our church at the lazer tag place… we do go there every year, you know… J

I went in and talked with the guy at the counter who is always there. I told him what was going on, and he was very, very nice. There wasn’t a whole lot he could do about it, since the last game of the day was already in progress, but he agreed with me that it wasn’t “very cool” of this woman, and I think I made it pretty clear that I was going to approach her when she exited the game.

When the game let out, Phil tried to figure out, from our own people, what had happened to Grace, and Connor told him that the lazer tag staff guy had brought Grace out of the game when she started crying. No harm there… thank you lazer tag guy for noticing that my child was distraught and helping her to get through the dark course… Definite kudos for the people who run this place…

Phil pointed out the lady to me who had talked to him earlier. She was with another woman (maybe 17-22 years old… I’m guessing a daughter) and a little boy who was probably around 8. I went up to her and said… very nicely and calmly, “Excuse me, ma’am (she looked to be in her mid-40s, so I thought ma’am was appropriate), I think you had a confrontation with my daughter.” She then got in my face and said sort of loudly and escalating, “I did not have a confrontation with your daughter. She hit me with her gun and I told her to stop!” Now… I don’t know… maybe she didn’t understand what the word confrontation meant. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt… but that sounds like a confrontation to me. The girl next to her also got in my face and started talking about how Grace was going around swinging her gun at people and hitting them… (I did for a brief moment wonder at this point if they just didn’t understand lazer tag at all and were offended that Grace was hitting them with lazers and scoring more points than them…) I proceeded to say (still nicely, quietly, but perhaps slightly less calmly), “well… my daughter is 9 years old, and she doesn’t lie, and that’s not the story I heard.” I started to say, “She said that you accused her of hitting people with her gun and then that in this last game someone who was with you was swinging their gun at her.” At this point, the three of them started trotting for the front of the building and the door (I really think they were scared they were going to be kicked out and never allowed back in, and this is the point at which I knew I was right in believing Grace all along), and the lady starts shouting over her shoulder, “Well… I can see where she got her attitude!” I said (a little more loudly now, just so she could hear me), “That is not how you treat 9 year old little girls!” Then I said mostly to myself, and partly under my breath… “Attitude, you wanna see attitude… I’ve got attitude…”

Our amazing teenagers kinda parted the way for me, as I went after these people on the way out of the building… The scene was probably pretty funny, actually, because it had to have looked like they were running away from me… The lazer tag guy at the counter looked kind of amused…

As I got out the door, the woman was already in her car, driving away as quickly as she could. Unbelievable! Gosh, I thought to myself, “I’m glad I don’t have to work with her, because there are no conflict resolution skills there!” Plight of a business major, I guess, to have these conversations in my head…

Connor was standing on the sidewalk with a handful of our other teenagers, looking a little confused, and asked, “Was it one of our people who did this to Grace?” I laughed and said, “No… if it was one of you guys I would have just beat you!” There was a brief moment of awkward silence, and then we all burst out laughing! I am seriously a very non-violent person! In my 31 years of life, I have never been in a fist fight. I remember slapping an ex-boyfriend… once… and to this day I have no idea what he did but am relatively sure he deserved it…

However… it’s probably a good thing that I didn’t play that last round, because if I had seen a full grown adult taking a swing at my child with a lazer gun, I probably would have swung back… and ended up on the nightly news!

There are some occasions in which threatening children is appropriate…

For instance, it’s OK (if you’re the parent) to say, “If you don’t clean your room, I am going to take your DS and send it, with extra batteries, to Ethiopia, where some child will appreciate it!”

It is never OK to walk up to a child you do not know and threaten to hit them with a blunt object… just never…

Overall, I think everything turned out OK. Grace is even embarrassed, this morning, that I’m writing the story. She is decked out in her owl print footie pajamas and playing Build-A-Bear with Miah. Let me tell you, she looks like and enraged, cold blooded killer who might snap and go on a rampage, knocking people unconscious with squirt guns at any moment…

And now I have a house to clean… because there is no where for Santa to leave my coal, since I am such a ferocious, attitude filled Mommy!

Lisa

Why I Dread Snow…

Well… to begin with… let’s just make it clear that I am not really a “great outdoors” kind of person… at least not in extreme temperatures (I have, indeed come to love the outdoors in the spring and fall). There is way to much background to get into that right now, but I prefer my air conditioning in the summer and my heat, blankets (occasionally warmed in the dryer), and fireplace (we have yet to use) in the winter…

That said, I found my 9 year old daughter… at 8:00 this morning… sitting on the couch dressed in her winter coat, hat, thin gloves, and tennis shoes… proclaiming that she was ready to go play in the snow!

Oh yeah… I really did make that promise that we were going to play outside today right after breakfast, didn’t I?

And since a promise is a promise, I told her to get out of her coat, hat, etc, and that we would have breakfast… Then, I proceeded to explore the great mystery of the basement looking for appropriate winter attire for such a snow… To my delight (or maybe dismay… just really depends on how you look at it), I did, indeed, find everything we would need to enjoy our wintery morning… Our plan was to build seven snowmen today. I questioned whether I had either the energy or the carrots for such a feat…

Now comes the part I dislike…

Once I dragged enough gear up to outfit a pretty good chunk of the United States Army… in Siberia… The real fun began…

Grace and Caleb were ready first, so I threw them out in the snow…

Ian was ready next, so I threw him out, too… with a word to his big sister to keep an eye on him…

Seth had a great deal of difficulty finding gloves, but he was also… finally… vanquished to the snow…

And then I had to dress Miah. Miah did not… in any way… enjoy this process. Since I am pretty much obsessed with little baby hats and hair bows, I thought the hat wouldn’t be a problem (she is used to them, after all)… not today. And I thought she was just going to absolutely lose it when I tried to stuff her hands inside the glove like things that are attached to her snowsuit. On this point, I conceded, and just got our her little owl gloves (that, of course, match her hat), which were a slightly easier sell, as long as I kept tweeting like a bird the entire time I was putting them on. It occurred to me later that owls don’t really “tweet”… rather, they “who”… Oh well… I guess I’ll have to re-teach that one when we do animal sounds…

Somewhere during the “dress Miah like an Eskimo” adventure, Grace started screaming at the door that the snow wasn’t “packing snow”… How this was my fault, I don’t know. I guess I didn’t put my order in early enough for packing snow to have it delivered by today. I told her… through clenched teeth… that she had whined for two days to go outside… now she was there… and she’d better have fun or we were never going outside again!

I ran Miah outside and sat her down in the snow, immediately, hoping to snap a couple of good pictures before she started howling. To my surprise, she started looking around in amazement and smiling… I think she likes snow…

It was just about at this point that I was summoned by Grace to look at her snow angel (at least she found something fun to do, after all), by Seth to look at his snow volcano, and by Ian who was under the trampoline… freaking out because his hats (both of them) had been knocked off his head by Caleb. It was very difficult to take care of all of these requests simultaneously, but I think everyone was satisfied… eventually… until someone walked on the snow angel that Ian had created (and none of us knew was there) at which point the distress began all over again…

At which point, Seth was too cold to stay outside anymore…

And Miah’s face was turning pink…

So I sent Seth in with specific directions as to where he should put all of his snow covered things (which he followed… go figure…)

And I brought Miah in and proceeded to pull all of the snowy clothing items off of her, as well.

Many, many requests for hot chocolate were interjected in this process…

Just as I got ready to make the hot chocolate; Grace was at the door freezing to death in the way that only my little drama princess can, so I looked at her and called Ian inside. This sounds cruel but makes sense if you understand that Ian cannot be left outside without an adult or at the very least Seth or Grace!

After that, I called Caleb inside… who was quite distraught that our outdoor time was over (I think he must be our Boy Scout)…

And finally Grace came in…

And now everyone was begging for hot chocolate, so I made it very clear that they needed to play in the living room long enough for me to warm some water up, and I made it… finally… and let me tell you, I needed it, too, because I experienced this whole adventure in two pairs of sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and tennis shoes!

It seriously took us over an hour to get outside!

I think we played for 20 minutes… maybe!

And they want to do this again?

Well… let’s at least hope for some good packing snow and maybe a napping baby?

Lisa

Sometimes I Wonder…

… If this is really what I was created for…

It’s just been one of those days…

It didn’t really start out that bad… I mean, I managed to take a bath, wash my hair, put a minimal amount of make-up on, find clothes for the kids, and practice the song that Phil and I were to lead off worship with (twice)… all in about an hour. Ian’s socks didn’t match, but nobody’s perfect…

At this point, I turned my attention to throwing together what I needed for children’s church. The project supplies were in the new dining room, and as I was getting them I noticed that Ian was with me… and that he had shut the French doors behind him… and I just thought, “Oh, Ian… you didn’t”…

Now, this might not seem like that big of a deal to most people, but here’s the thing… Our new dining room is almost finished, but it is still a work in progress. There are only handles on the living room side of the doors, and to get out of the dining room, you must pull (not push) the doors… and they latch!

For the next three minutes, Ian pushed on the doors (even though I told him it wouldn’t work), while I screamed at the top of my lungs for Seth, Grace, or Caleb to let us out… They could not hear me over the Christmas music that was blaring in the kitchen. Thankfully, Seth finally made his way to the living room (only Heaven knows why), and I managed to catch his attention… He let us out… I considered the fact that my voice was now hoarse, and for a fleeting moment wondered whether or not I should put Ian back in the dining room… then I remembered that the good china is housed there…

Even though I have determined to wear shoes more often this winter, I started looking for my flip flops, because I didn’t think my tennis shoes would make a fashion statement with my dress (which, by the way, was a maternity dress, because I am still quite overweight from having Miah… and remember this, because it is important to a later part of this story)…

As the minutes ticked away, I decided that maybe the tennis shoes weren’t the worst option, and I put them on… without socks… I knew, instinctively, as I did this that I had just committed wardrobe suicide, because everyone in this church greets me with eye to foot contact, just to see whether or not I’ve given up on the flip flops for the winter… But I had to get moving…

I’m not sure if this is the appropriate place to digress, but last week… about fifteen minutes before we were supposed to sing… I realized that my keys were locked in the van and had to call the church to see if someone could find Phil… steal his keys… and bring them to me. George, our Senior Pastor, showed up at the back door within minutes. I am sure that is just what he needed to be doing (rescuing crazy woman with five children who also happen to be Associate Pastor’s family) right before worship… Thanks, George…

Today, I had my keys in hand. This is only useful if the doors aren’t frozen shut…

I am almost sure that as I pushed and pulled and grunted and snorted that I said something like, “You have got to be kidding me!” Seth said, “Let me try, Mom,” and in the world of cartoon animation and corny movies, it always works, so I stepped aside. Seth pushed and pulled and then said, “I can’t get it either.” I let out a scream (not an angry one, mind you… just kind of exasperated), and then Seth and I looked at each other and started cracking up and almost fell in the snow… I don’t think Miah found it all that funny. Grace, Caleb, and Ian were still in the house…

I finally did manage to get enough doors open to get everyone in the van.

An uneventful drive to “building church” was followed by the realization that there was only one parking spot left, and it was over ice… I took it.

When I got out of the van, I realized that the ice wasn’t all that frozen and that the kids were now going to have to exit into a slushy puddle. I informed them that Mommy just played a game of “Don’t Break the Ice” and lost. They thought that was hilarious… I didn’t, really, but I laughed anyway as I propelled them across the puddle, one by one, and realized that Seth and Grace are really getting too heavy for this. Grace proceeded to whine about how cold it was while I stood almost ankle deep in freezing cold water and got everything else we needed out of the van.

The kids ran in the door.

I took a deep breath and tried to think of something funny to say to the first person who commented on my tennis shoes… or my coat (which I haven’t mentioned until this point, because I like coats about as much as I like shoes… which isn’t very much. If you’ve seen the commercial for Head and Shoulders where the lady is wearing a huge, ugly, black coat and the announcer exposes the myth that “black is always flattering”… well… that’s my coat)…

I crossed the threshold and lost the coat (leaving me, of course, in my sleeveless maternity dress, which I thought was maybe the first good choice of the day, since it caused people to comment on how cold my arms must be; taking the attention away from my feet altogether!)

I dropped Miah off at the nursery, and almost immediately ran into a college aged girl who used to be part of our ministry to teenagers. She had her baby with her, whom I have only seen once before. I commented on how cute the baby is. The girl patted my tummy! This is awkward for me when I am pregnant. Awkward doesn’t even really describe the feeling when I am not pregnant… which I am not! The only thing I could think to do was to be honest, so I said, “There’s not a baby in there. That’s just baby fat. If you want to see my baby, she’s in the nursery.” What else can you really say?

I talked with a few more people here and there, and got ready to enter the sanctuary, take the stage, and sing the song I wasn’t sure I could sing with my waning voice… Remembered I was sucking a cough drop… almost spit it out in the aluminum can collection basket that is for raising funds for the Haiti mission trip (oops)… found a regular trash can (thanks, Ruth)… and took my position again…

Only to see Phil coming down the hall, who said something to the effect of, “Oh good… you’re here! You’re wearing your tennis shoes?” Good one, Phil…

I wish I could say that the rest of the morning wasn’t as interesting…

Every kid except ours who was at Children’s church is going on vacation somewhere cool for Christmas.

Miah was distraught in the nursery, and I finally had to flip my stupid dress around backwards to nurse her… long story… She also showed up at church with only one sock and left with none… epic fail, Mommy… cold toesies…

At least one other person made a reference that made me think she also thought I was pregnant… I think I’m burning the dress… did I mention that?

And I find myself sitting here… typing to beat the band… trying to get this story out before we start phase 2 of this day… Please, oh please let the mini musicale, children’s Christmas party, and whatever else we end up doing tonight go a little more smoothly…

Oh wait… Ian just ran by wearing only pants… Here we go again!

Lisa

This Book Is Draining Me…

I really didn’t expect to feel this way…

I mean, as I published certain chapters I knew there would be tears threatening to fall, and along those same lines, there were others that made me laugh out loud…

But I’m down to the last 12 chapters now, and I hate the ending…

Of course, I know it isn’t really the ending, but reading through these pages is causing me to feel a sense of urgency in writing the sequel.

I think everybody is going to hate how this book ends.

Blah…

Lisa

Sleep...

... is undoubtedly Step 2 in the "change your whole life in less than 17 years" program. I have been thinking about this for some time, but tonight it became increasingly evident that my sleep patterns have to change... HAVE... TO...

So, I was driving Seth and Grace to pre-teen retreat (driving Caleb, Ian, and Miah, too... but the reason we were driving was to get the "big kids" to retreat)... I tend to be a "car sleeper"... but NOT when I'm driving. I could hardly keep my eyes open, and it was 5:00 in the evening! That screams, "SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR SLEEP HABITS, LISA!"

Although it was a bit concerning when I realized I was so exhausted I could hardly get my kids to their destination, this was not the worst part. I did, indeed, arrive safely at retreat, got the kids registered, and dropped them off with a leaping hug and kiss from Grace and even a hug and, "I hope you have a great weekend, Mom!" from Seth... Good moment...

What really concerned me was what I did next...

I looked at my three "babies" and realized that in order to get us home safely, I was going to have to do something drastic. I drove through McDonalds and ordered a coffee. (dead pan to the audience)

LISA DOES NOT DRINK COFFEE... EVER...

If you do not know me, this probably sounds kind of stupid, but if you do know me, you understand. This was a big deal!

Now, granted, I ordered the least coffee like sounding coffee on the menu, but as I took that first sip, my body instinctively knew that we'd just escalated to a new level of exhaustion. If I'm going to become a coffee drinker, I might as well become a drug addict and an alcoholic while I'm at it. I'm not going to become any of these things... As I drove home, hoping that the caffeine would quickly find it's way to my bloodstream and keep me alert enough to make the whole drive, I knew this was a necessary fix... and a one time fix...

Step sleep is going to have to come in phases, but considering I never would have dreamed I'd even be ready to take another step only 5 days into this thing, I'm going with it. The first part of this step is going to be establishing a bed time.

It is at this point that I must admit that I don't like that. In comparison, step 1 was easy. I like God. I wanted to spend more time with Him. Truth told, I like sleep, too... and I want to spend more time doing it. But I am a night person. I'd like to sleep from... oh... maybe 2am until noon... consistently... Not gonna happen, Mommy...

I remember when I was a kid my mom used to tell me that I would have to wake up earlier when I grew up if I wanted to have a job. I told her I'd work the night shift. And in reality, if I had to work outside of our home, I'd choose 3rd shift every time. But unless I want to completely turn my kids' worlds upside-down, that's not gonna work right now... So I have to have a bed time (I'm avoiding this... can you tell?)...

I guess healthy adults are supposed to get 8 hours of sleep. I know people who do pretty well on 6 or 7. If I'm going to be real honest, I think I probably need 9. But I'm not going to get 9... There are just not enough hours in the day for that on a regular basis. So for now, I'm going to measure my progress based on 8 hours of sleep, but since I'm only going to start the bed time part of this right now, I'm only going to give myself credit for 4 productive hours. For awhile, I might actually get more than 8 hours, and considering the sleep deprivation I have subjected myself to over the years, that's OK... Setting an alarm will be another part in this process, completely. (Set the bed time, Lisa)...

I think it would be very healthy for me to go to bed at 10:00. Can't do it. For now, I'm going to set my bed time at 11:00... and that means that no matter what, that's when the light goes out... and the laptop goes off. This is going to require some serious discipline on my part, because that means my school work needs to be done by 11:00... and I have to stop clicking "refresh" on facebook by 11:00... and I have to be done watching "TV" (this is in quotes, because TV means something completely different at this house than it does to most people, but that's a story for another day)... and done shopping on-line... and done washing the dishes... and picking up the toys... and taking care of anything that needs to be in place for the following morning... by 11:00... And I guess to be fair, since I really think this is an hour later than it should be... I'm only going to count it as fixing 3 hours of my life... for now...

Assuming I can do it, this should bring my total "fixed life percentage" to 1.3%... OK... small... but progress...

Lisa