This Week...

In some ways it was harder than I thought, and in some ways it was easier than I’d imagined.

It’s a little crazy how things kept coming together for me, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.  So many pieces of my life have come together on the EMD campgrounds (I’ll share more of that in a minute), so why not this chapter of life?  It is where I go to listen to God.  I needed to be there this week.

But I have to be honest, there were some challenges.  Among them, was a detour.  Ironic:

For the first few days, I spent a pretty good amount of time being lost.  Later in the week, I had re-gained a grasp of the winding, jarring, dirt roads that used to be so familiar.  As I shared before, Ian and Miah thought we were on a roller coaster, at times… hands up, screaming, and all…  Maybe they have a more accurate understanding than I do…

But even on the roller coaster, God spoke:

God spoke through friends this week.  Maybe they know it, and maybe they don’t, but God spoke.  It is always a little unnerving when someone can anticipate the next words out of your mouth, and friends were finishing sentences for me that I didn’t even realized I’d started…  

God spoke through evangelists and worship leaders this week.  I have already shared some of those things in earlier posts, but the final one, from Friday night, was this:  “God doesn’t always answer prayer in the way we think He should”.  It’s not as if this is a new concept or anything, but Dr. Diehl brought a new perspective, for sure.

But maybe most interestingly, God spoke on the detour.  Go figure.  As I was driving, by myself, on Wednesday morning, these words resonated in my heart and mind, “I’m not taking away what you want, Lisa.  You can have stuff, or you can be happy…”

I’ll choose happy…

In recent days, I have had some trouble letting go of our current situation, because there are so many good memories.  Being on the campgrounds reminded me that the memories last far beyond the moments and places in which we create them.  And so… 

Yesterday afternoon after I recounted the story of how Phil and I met and first talked at one of the windows at the Gibson Center… and after I reminisced about the evening that Phil proposed to me out by the lake, while I sat on a tree stump… and after I thought about our first house out there on the grounds, and walking through the door after our honeymoon… and walking through the door with a newborn Seth… and then a newborn Grace…  I almost couldn’t start the van to leave.  There were some tears then, and if I’m honest, there are some tears, tonight.

But then God spoke again, through a song.  No kidding, this is what was playing when I pulled out of the campgrounds…

"Home"

By: Caedmon’s Call

So you asked, so I'm going
Here I am, never knowing
Where this horizon ends, and the next road begins
Or where I'll find you

It's getting dark and I'm a long way from home
But I can't stand spending this night alone
And I will sleep, my eyes to the east
And wait for the sun to come, home

I've gone to walkabout to find your face
The land I love, don't look the same
Look the same

So cover me like a blanket in the cold
You have given me this hand to hold
To help me up
'Cause I fall down

It's getting dark, and I'm a long way from home
But I will not spend this night alone.
I will sleep with my eyes to the east
And wait for the sun to come, home.

It feels something like I'm chasing the wind
I feel like this road has no end
But the end is you I know
So I chase on   

L.