... to Easter?
We call it "Good Friday", but I don't think very many of us feel "good" about it.
Matthew 26:29 has been on my mind, "Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will'" (NIV).
None of us wants to suffer or die. Even Jesus, himself, asks God to take the cup from him, if it is possible. But, of course, it is not... not if we really want redemption for a fallen world. And that, after all, is why Jesus came.
Still, there is anguish in this. Jesus falls to his face on the ground! We can easily forget that Jesus is as completely human as he is completely divine. I think that, maybe, we see this most clearly in the Passion. Jesus is hurting. And somehow, even though he knows the resurrection to be true, he is not thinking about it when he hangs, dying, on the cross.
In fact, as Jesus takes his final breath, he is seemingly doubting the plan: "From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)... And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit" (Matthew 27: 45, 46, 50, NIV). And that's it. It is finished. Done. Over.
As Christians, I think we skim over this part of the story. We question the sincerity of people who have doubts, of people who wonder where God is when they're suffering, of people who question why they have been forsaken or why life (and death) are so hard. And when we do this, I think we miss the point.
God doesn't call us to live behind a facade, pretending that everything is OK, because we have faith. Faith is something more than that. Faith is pressing ahead and accepting God's will, God's plan, even when it doesn't make sense and even when it hurts. I don't think that most of us have a clue what Jesus means when he says, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me" (Matthew 16:24, NIV).
I think sometimes... sometimes... we take up a cross, but it is rarely in connection with self-denial. In fact, it is often the exact opposite. Our "crosses" are usually all the trivial things that are happening in our lives that just aren't fair. We complain... and argue... and pout. I can't find the self-denial in that.
But really, the cross is death. I recognize that this isn't nearly as attractive as the resurrection, but it must precede it. And, for the most part, we aren't called to a physical death but to death to ourselves... our desires... our dreams... our plans. And most of us don't want to let go of those. We just don't. But the hope in this is that when we examine the Passion, we find that Jesus doesn't really want to let go of those either. He begs the Father to change the plan. He pleads for His life. He wonders why God has left him to die.
But this is the key. Even though it might not be what Jesus wants, he trusts His Father enough to do it anyway. And... you know... the Father does come through. But let's not get ahead of the story this time around. Let's take today... and tomorrow... to consider the time that Jesus' body lay in the tomb, dead. Let's consider how we might die to ourselves, because we can't have resurrection without death.
L.
PS I often find music to be helpful in my spiritual formation. The following songs might be useful as you meditate on what it means to accept God's will, to take up your cross, even when we don't quite understand it:
Sidewalk Prophets - Help Me Find It
Rend Collective Experiment - Broken Bread
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