Happiest Place on Earth

Happiest Place on Earth
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Monday, February 13, 2017

Stay the Course



I don’t do anything halfway, but sometimes it doesn’t matter.  Sometimes, even when you put everything you can and everything you are into something, it still doesn’t work out.  But friends, I really stink at rejection. 

I saw a quote the other day that went like this:

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” -Mohadesa Najumi

Of course, I loved it immediately; because that’s the kind of person I want to be.  Heck, sometimes I even embody this.  But I knew I couldn’t claim to be this person, today, because within moments of reading the rejection letter that crossed the screen in front of my eyes, I was looking at another message, from one of my dearest friends, which read, “I love you.  You’re enough.”

And let’s be real, if your closest friends respond like that, it’s because they know how very, very badly you need the validation.

So, quite honestly, I’m sitting here tonight weighing the risks of vulnerability.  There is a deep part of me that knows I would benefit from a crushing hug and as many words of affirmation as the people who know me best could offer.  Seriously, hundreds of thousands of words would be helpful.  But I am also terrified that any degree of human contact might cause me to shatter into so many pieces I will never be able to pick them all up again.  And it absolutely comes from feeling as if I am not enough.  Because today, I wasn’t.

It’s only been a few days since I blogged and assured the Internet world that I was going to be OK, one way… or another… or another…  And I am.  But I suddenly can’t remember what ‘Plan B’ was.  I think I need permission to fall apart for just a little while.

I put an awful lot of myself into ‘staying a course’ that no longer exists.  The road has shifted underneath my feet, and I need a minute to forge a new path.  Just a minute…

L.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

How Grad School Ruined My Life…


The final assignment is finished.  It’s ready.  But I’m not.  I just can’t hit “post reply.”

Let me begin by making it very clear that this title is painfully misleading.  I could just as easily write a post about how grad school saved my life, because in a lot of ways, it did.  It took me fifteen years after high school graduation to earn my BSM, because I choose to do life in a different order than what is generally considered normal.  I got married first, had a family first.  I have always loved the role in which I raise my kids.  They are the center of my world, for better or worse, whether it's good or right or sometimes over the top.  People who know me well know that I am generally a pretty nice person, but if you mess with my kids, I turn into something crazy.  I mean, I don't even recognize myself!

By the time I walked across the stage at Indiana Wesleyan University and grasped the all consuming piece of paper that finally proved I knew a lot about something as opposed to just a little bit about everything; I was exhausted.  And five little faces, ranging in age from two to eleven, stared back at me with a certain sense of relief, because Mommy was finally finished with school.  I didn't have the heart to tell them I was going back on Monday. 

I had spent the summer deciding what I wanted to do next with my life.  I had been accepted into multiple graduate programs.  Did I want to stick with business or organizational leadership?  Did I want to dive into something different altogether?  Did I have what it took to do graduate level coursework at all?  I finally decided on a theology degree at Northwest Nazarene University.  That place has been calling to me since I was eighteen and lived on the corner of the school property for about six weeks in a house that no longer exists.  It was time to throw my hat in the ring.  Just two years, though.  I was going to blow in, be awesome, and blow out, with another framed diploma to hang on my wall.

Honestly, I thought I was pretty great.  I was also cynical and jaded, mad at the world and certainly mad at the church.  I started that first course wondering just how many people I could tick off in eight weeks.  It took me about three days to realize I was in over my head and the entire first semester just to figure out how to keep up.  But, I have always liked a challenge.  This one rocked my expectations… pretty much all of them…

I was not going to be friends with anyone in my cohort.  I think they figured out early on that I was volatile and broken in about a million pieces.  Try spending two years with people like that, who want to be friends, discussing the deepest issues of spiritual formation, and just see how that not being friends thing works out for you.  I held out until October, I think…

In 2014, sitting in my four year old’s room at bedtime, after an incredibly awesome birthday party for my middle child who had just turned “double digits,” I watched the tape delayed version of my graduation from NNU, went to bed, myself, and woke up early the next morning to preach my first sermon.  I loved it.  Over the next couple of months, I carefully considered my next move.  Would I really take a year off, as planned?  Should I make an attempt at law school?  Maybe it was time to pursue doctoral work, back in the field of organizational leadership.  I could have chosen any of it, but that sermon set me on a path from which I couldn’t turn back.  Scratch that.  I still believe in free will, so we all know I could have turned back, but I knew I wouldn’t.

Sometime later, I received what was probably a form letter to all M.A. graduates of NNU, encouraging me to come back to complete the M.Div.  Before I knew it, I had enrolled in “just one class” for the upcoming fall term.  I think I told Phil about this a few days before the school year began, primarily because I needed his books.  I would have kept it a secret, entirely, except my returning cohort friends were all like, “What the heck are you doing here?”  I guess I should have used a pseudonym…

Well, “one more class” turned to two… and then three… and then fourteen…

The truth is; I found myself at NNU.  I feel more like who I was always created to be when I am there (on campus, for sure, but even online).  I’d move there, with hardly a backwards glance, if I could find a job.  And in a matter of moments, I am going to make one final click on this keyboard, and I am no longer going to be a student at NNU.  Excuse me while I cry just a little bit longer.  It’s something of an identity crisis.

I don’t know what’s next, but here are some things I do know…

I am called to ministry.  There is no denying it, no escaping it, I’m not even trying.

I am good with people.  I never would have guessed this to be true, but it is.  I also need more community than I thought possible.  Go figure.

I am passionate about education.  That’s always been the case.  I’m never going to stop learning, and I’m never going to stop teaching.  I am, however, slightly terrified about what that may or may not look like in the coming years.  I have big dreams, but they’re a little bit scary to pursue.

I’m a good writer and a good editor, even though this particular post reads something like a grocery list.

I still love being a mom more than anything in the world, and finding out who I am has not hindered that in any way but has, instead, helped me to raise kids who are stronger than I ever imagined they could be.

Something will happen tomorrow… and the next day… and the day after that…

I kind of stink at endings, but I’m good at beginnings, and they always follow, so it will be OK. 

L.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Vomit...



... is apparently the theme of my day.

I know, I know.  You don't want to know.  Really?  You're still reading...

I literally did vomit, this morning, after biting into what I thought was an omelet stuffed with cheese but what ended up being an omelet stuffed with something else altogether.  I think it might have been salsa.  I think I might have sensory issues.  At any rate, not the best way to start my day.

Then I wrote about vomit... no kidding... in a story that I'm working on.  Bet you can't wait to read that one...

And finally, a friend of mine mentioned to me that I might be vomiting my feelings all over the Internet.  And she was absolutely right.  I am.  On a daily basis.  And, here I go again...

I legitimately hate drama (the bad kind, not the, "Hey it's a musical!" kind).  For years I have walked around shaking my head and wondering why some people seem to thrive on it.  My preference would be to never be in crisis.  It just would.  But something awful occurred to me, today (soul care days sometimes do this to you, fair warning).  Sometimes when we have been dealing with a crisis for an extended period of time, it almost becomes easier to keep dealing with it than to let it go.  This must be why people hold on to their drama.  It is comfortable, convoluted as that might sound.  It becomes a part of us.  But I don't think it has to be this way.

I think, whenever possible, the best thing to do is to communicate with the people in your life who are causing you to struggle.  Let's be real, friends.  That's not always possible for a variety of reasons.  Today, I have been thinking about friendships that have just run their course, and let me be the first to say, it is a terrible thing to think about for too long.  I don't like it when friendships end.  I guess nobody does, but it is the absolute worst when they end without closure, when they just sort of fade away and you don't know why... and they don't know why... and nobody knows why... or everybody knows why but nobody wants to talk about it. 

When that happens, I'm pretty sure I write... incessantly... in code, because let's be real (again), I'm actually not nearly as real as I'd like to be.  Honest, yes.  But honest people can not say a lot of things, too..

Which, I guess, is exactly what I just did... again...

L.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

It's Taken Me All Day...


To determine what I really want to say about this new year.

Or, perhaps, the hard part has been determining what I don't want to say about the old one...

We're still here. 

I am a truth teller... and a realist... and I like who God created me to be.  I haven't arrived yet, and that's OK.

I often think of my Mammaw on New Year's Day and her wise words.  She thought that what we did on January 1st set the tone for the coming year.  I hope she was right, because after ringing in the New Year with friends and then heading home with my wonderful family, I slept in and woke up happy.

If I spend this year snuggling Caleb and Miah while watching home videos, and listening to Grace play the piano, and sneaking pizza with Seth when no one else is looking, and watching Ian race switch and go dinosaurs across the kitchen floor, and hugging my husband; it will be a good year.  I do hope I don't make a habit of putting Seth's cell phone through the washing machine, but, ya know, there's no such thing as a perfect day.

I have a few things yet to do today...

And so, we begin again...

L.
 Start Well... Finish Strong...

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Christmas Letter, 2014...


December 12, 2014

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, here we are again.  Another year has gone by, seemingly faster than the last one.  For our family, 2014 has been blessed and busy.

I (Lisa) graduated from Northwest Nazarene University in May with my Master's Degree in Theology/Spiritual Formation.  I am currently spending most of my time homeschooling the kids, working with a youth worship band, leading our local quiz program, and trying my hand at writing fiction. 

Phil is the Associate Pastor at Durand Church of the Nazarene.  He has been busy working on curriculum development and upcoming small groups, preaching, and being actively involved in the spiritual formation of youth and young adults.  In his spare time, he fixes our vehicles, which break down at the most inopportune times, and plays life sized Tetris and Jenga, with our possessions, in the garage of our "temporary" rental house, which has less than 1,000 square feet of living space!  
     
We didn't take a vacation this year, but Phil, Lisa, Seth, and Grace spent a week in Nashville, this summer, for Q2014, and we've done plenty of traveling for other quiz related events, as well.  This fall, Caleb joined us in his first year of teen Bible quizzing, and, as a family, we took first place at the Tennessee Decades Quiz in September, which was amazingly fun!  We also traveled to Ferguson, MO, for the all star quiz in early December and are just enjoying the time we have with our many friends from all over the country, whenever we have a chance to spend the weekend with them! 

Seth turned 14 in September, which is a little surreal.  He is becoming such an incredible person, often putting the needs and wants of others ahead of his own and definitely focusing on serving others whenever possible.  He continues to excel at Bible quizzing and art, and he is happy as long as there is a steady supply of video games, pizza, and donuts!  We're not sure how much longer we will be able to afford to feed him! 
 
Grace released her first EP, "This is Grace," in October.  The whole process was incredible, and it's pretty amazing to have a professional recording under her belt at age 13.  Yes, 13.  That propels us into the "household with multiple teenagers" category.  I can remember when the kids were little and people would offer sympathy, knowing that the teenage years were coming.  I didn't understand it then, and I don't understand it now.  We wouldn't trade our teenagers for anything in the world.  They are a joy to us.  Grace also continues to excel at Bible quizzing and spends much of her time composing music and enhancing her piano and vocal skills.  And she checks her Facebook account... a lot...

Caleb continues to keep us all in line.  He turned 10 this year.  He is still playing piano and also began taking guitar lessons this fall.  Caleb has had a couple of top 10 finishes at district Bible quizzes, and he is a very valuable part of the team when he travels with us to invitationals!  It can be a little tricky to be "in between," not a teenager, like his older siblings, and not a little kid, like his younger siblings, but he actually says that he likes being in the middle!  We think it's because he gets to enjoy the best of both worlds! 

Ian will turn 8 the day after Christmas.  He continues to be the spice of life at our house, reminding us that not everyone in the world is an introvert, and there are some people who simply need to talk to others all day long, every day!  Ian is remarkably creative and is always coming up with new games and ideas.  He is invaluable when it comes to keeping Miah entertained with his natural rhythm and comedy.  Ian loves animals, and especially dinosaurs, and is likely to share random facts, regardless of the context.  This is sometimes awkward (does everyone really need to know about how to determine whether a mosquito is male or female), but mostly endearing.
      
Princess Miah is 4 1/2 now.  How time flies!  She is so sweet and loveable, and she really brings our family together, particularly since she is practically royalty in this house.  Miah spends her time reading stories, drawing, and planning spectacular, fancy balls (which really means we all show up in her bedroom and eat plastic food and dance).  She dreams of going to Disney World, since that's where Sofia the First and Doc McStuffins live.  She makes us smile, a lot.

We hope that as Christmas approaches you will all have some time to share with family and friends and to reflect on the reason we celebrate, and may the coming year be one of the best ones yet!

Much Love,
Phil, Lisa, Seth, Grace, Caleb, Ian, and Miah

Romans 12: 9-13
"Love must be sincere.
Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
Be devoted to one another in love.
Honor one another above yourselves.
Never be lacking in zeal,
but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Share with the Lord’s people who are in need.
Practice hospitality" (NIV).