Happiest Place on Earth

Happiest Place on Earth
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts

Monday, February 13, 2017

Stay the Course



I don’t do anything halfway, but sometimes it doesn’t matter.  Sometimes, even when you put everything you can and everything you are into something, it still doesn’t work out.  But friends, I really stink at rejection. 

I saw a quote the other day that went like this:

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” -Mohadesa Najumi

Of course, I loved it immediately; because that’s the kind of person I want to be.  Heck, sometimes I even embody this.  But I knew I couldn’t claim to be this person, today, because within moments of reading the rejection letter that crossed the screen in front of my eyes, I was looking at another message, from one of my dearest friends, which read, “I love you.  You’re enough.”

And let’s be real, if your closest friends respond like that, it’s because they know how very, very badly you need the validation.

So, quite honestly, I’m sitting here tonight weighing the risks of vulnerability.  There is a deep part of me that knows I would benefit from a crushing hug and as many words of affirmation as the people who know me best could offer.  Seriously, hundreds of thousands of words would be helpful.  But I am also terrified that any degree of human contact might cause me to shatter into so many pieces I will never be able to pick them all up again.  And it absolutely comes from feeling as if I am not enough.  Because today, I wasn’t.

It’s only been a few days since I blogged and assured the Internet world that I was going to be OK, one way… or another… or another…  And I am.  But I suddenly can’t remember what ‘Plan B’ was.  I think I need permission to fall apart for just a little while.

I put an awful lot of myself into ‘staying a course’ that no longer exists.  The road has shifted underneath my feet, and I need a minute to forge a new path.  Just a minute…

L.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

How Grad School Ruined My Life…


The final assignment is finished.  It’s ready.  But I’m not.  I just can’t hit “post reply.”

Let me begin by making it very clear that this title is painfully misleading.  I could just as easily write a post about how grad school saved my life, because in a lot of ways, it did.  It took me fifteen years after high school graduation to earn my BSM, because I choose to do life in a different order than what is generally considered normal.  I got married first, had a family first.  I have always loved the role in which I raise my kids.  They are the center of my world, for better or worse, whether it's good or right or sometimes over the top.  People who know me well know that I am generally a pretty nice person, but if you mess with my kids, I turn into something crazy.  I mean, I don't even recognize myself!

By the time I walked across the stage at Indiana Wesleyan University and grasped the all consuming piece of paper that finally proved I knew a lot about something as opposed to just a little bit about everything; I was exhausted.  And five little faces, ranging in age from two to eleven, stared back at me with a certain sense of relief, because Mommy was finally finished with school.  I didn't have the heart to tell them I was going back on Monday. 

I had spent the summer deciding what I wanted to do next with my life.  I had been accepted into multiple graduate programs.  Did I want to stick with business or organizational leadership?  Did I want to dive into something different altogether?  Did I have what it took to do graduate level coursework at all?  I finally decided on a theology degree at Northwest Nazarene University.  That place has been calling to me since I was eighteen and lived on the corner of the school property for about six weeks in a house that no longer exists.  It was time to throw my hat in the ring.  Just two years, though.  I was going to blow in, be awesome, and blow out, with another framed diploma to hang on my wall.

Honestly, I thought I was pretty great.  I was also cynical and jaded, mad at the world and certainly mad at the church.  I started that first course wondering just how many people I could tick off in eight weeks.  It took me about three days to realize I was in over my head and the entire first semester just to figure out how to keep up.  But, I have always liked a challenge.  This one rocked my expectations… pretty much all of them…

I was not going to be friends with anyone in my cohort.  I think they figured out early on that I was volatile and broken in about a million pieces.  Try spending two years with people like that, who want to be friends, discussing the deepest issues of spiritual formation, and just see how that not being friends thing works out for you.  I held out until October, I think…

In 2014, sitting in my four year old’s room at bedtime, after an incredibly awesome birthday party for my middle child who had just turned “double digits,” I watched the tape delayed version of my graduation from NNU, went to bed, myself, and woke up early the next morning to preach my first sermon.  I loved it.  Over the next couple of months, I carefully considered my next move.  Would I really take a year off, as planned?  Should I make an attempt at law school?  Maybe it was time to pursue doctoral work, back in the field of organizational leadership.  I could have chosen any of it, but that sermon set me on a path from which I couldn’t turn back.  Scratch that.  I still believe in free will, so we all know I could have turned back, but I knew I wouldn’t.

Sometime later, I received what was probably a form letter to all M.A. graduates of NNU, encouraging me to come back to complete the M.Div.  Before I knew it, I had enrolled in “just one class” for the upcoming fall term.  I think I told Phil about this a few days before the school year began, primarily because I needed his books.  I would have kept it a secret, entirely, except my returning cohort friends were all like, “What the heck are you doing here?”  I guess I should have used a pseudonym…

Well, “one more class” turned to two… and then three… and then fourteen…

The truth is; I found myself at NNU.  I feel more like who I was always created to be when I am there (on campus, for sure, but even online).  I’d move there, with hardly a backwards glance, if I could find a job.  And in a matter of moments, I am going to make one final click on this keyboard, and I am no longer going to be a student at NNU.  Excuse me while I cry just a little bit longer.  It’s something of an identity crisis.

I don’t know what’s next, but here are some things I do know…

I am called to ministry.  There is no denying it, no escaping it, I’m not even trying.

I am good with people.  I never would have guessed this to be true, but it is.  I also need more community than I thought possible.  Go figure.

I am passionate about education.  That’s always been the case.  I’m never going to stop learning, and I’m never going to stop teaching.  I am, however, slightly terrified about what that may or may not look like in the coming years.  I have big dreams, but they’re a little bit scary to pursue.

I’m a good writer and a good editor, even though this particular post reads something like a grocery list.

I still love being a mom more than anything in the world, and finding out who I am has not hindered that in any way but has, instead, helped me to raise kids who are stronger than I ever imagined they could be.

Something will happen tomorrow… and the next day… and the day after that…

I kind of stink at endings, but I’m good at beginnings, and they always follow, so it will be OK. 

L.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

We Did Nothing, Today...

... confessions of a self-proclaimed Disney planning expert who sort of feels like she's failing at vacation...

I know that's not it.  Not really.  But I do feel as if I lost the last 24 hours somewhere.

The truth is, we got in late enough last night that I didn't have time to turn in my assignment that was due, and I had a huge assignment due today, and I just needed sleep, and 20 days is a long time for non-stop fun, and I'm old(er), and the kids are older, and I just needed sleep (wait, I already said that)...

I spent the vast majority of the day in one spot, exegeting I Corinthians.  I took selfies, but they are not worthy of posting.  That's saying something, since I apparently have no filters when it comes to picture posting anymore...

Seriously, the most exciting thing I did, today, was to pick up the refillable mugs that I keep forgetting are included in the dining plan:


Just FYI, if anyone ever tells you that you can get the 10 pc. "Giddyup and Go" chicken dinner at Trail's End on the dining plan, they are lying.  I know, because I walked to Trail's End and found this to be untrue.  I decided I should still probably feed the children dinner anyway, though  (I'm pretty sure Phil fed them lunch):


Tomorrow will be better.  I promise.

L.

Pictures Taken Today: 8 (That has to be an all time low...)

Saturday, May 23, 2015

End Game...



Funny when you realize the dream wasn't ever really the dream...

What do you want?  What will make you happy? 

These are questions that have been bouncing around in my heart for quite some time now.  Sometimes it's my husband asking, because he is this legitimately amazing person who would actually move heaven and earth to purchase, do, be, make happen whatever it is that I want, if it is within his power to do so, and sometimes even if it's not.  I'm not sure how many dads look at their future sons-in-law and say, "Good luck with this one," but mine did.  I am high maintenance... apparently...

But more often than not, these questions have been internal.  I have been asking them myself.  And I haven't been able to come up with very good answers, if I'm honest, which I try to be.  But there is a common theme.  Over and over and over again, I have said that what I want, what would make me happy, is stability.  And I really believed it.  But then I lived through the past 19 months...

In October of 2013, I was thrilled to be going "home".  After a 12 year journey that took us through 5 states, 9 houses, 6 churches, and more heartbreak than I ever thought I could live through, we were finally going to have that "moment" when you realize that God really loves you and has set aside this particular second in history just for you, to show you how everything has worked together for good, how it was all necessary to bring you to the specific place for which you were born.  Breathe in, breathe out, the trouble is over, the years that the locusts ate are finished, you can stop wandering around in the desert, because this is why you were created.  You... have... arrived.

It was the dream.  This was everything I ever wanted... in 1997.

Here we were moving into a little house just yards away from the first home we ever owned, from the house we walked away from in 2001 to begin this adventure.  That house long since burned to the ground, but this one is eerily similar to such a point that I sometimes forget the dining room, laundry room, and master bedroom are not the ones from the original house.  This is what our lives would have looked like if we'd lived in the same house all these years...

Here we were taking a staff position at a church that is small, but not too small, that has a calendar with no space for another event, that has blended worship and canned music and a youth group and children's programming for the kids.  This is what our lives would have looked like if we had landed the elusive youth pastorate at a desirable church all those years ago and just hung on...

If Phil had become a course of study guy, trading an extensive education for ordination the quick and easy way, never questioning, never learning new things...

If I had avoided school altogether, settling in with the homesteading families and living under the umbrella of submission, never really seeking the call God had for my life... 

If the kids had embraced the safety of mediocrity instead of flourishing in their spiritual formation and talents, missing out on the beauty of nonconformity...

We could have done it, too.  We could have been those people.  But we never would have been us.  And chances are pretty good we wouldn't have known you.  Yes, you, particularly if you are one of the hundreds upon hundreds of people we met because of the choices we made over those 12 years.  What a loss... for us... for you... for the world... for the Kingdom...

What I wanted at 17 is not what I want at 35.  Let me be clear.  I don't want this.  I don't want this, but I am so thankful that God allowed us to experience it, because I might have spent my entire life wishing for something I didn't want if these months hadn't played out like they have.  I don't want this, and I know now that it's not what we were created for.  I don't want this, I was wrong, and it's OK.

May I return, briefly, to these haunting words that have changed my life forever?  "A cloud of missed possibilities envelops every beginning: it is always this beginning, this universe, and not some other. Decision lacks innocence. Around its narrations gather histories of grievance: what possibilities were excluded?" (Keller, 2003, 160).  Oh, friends, there are possibilities that were excluded, but I am less and less convinced that histories of grievance are worth grieving, for had we made different decisions, had we chosen a different beginning, a different universe, we would be grieving you.  We would be grieving us.

I don't have to wonder anymore.  I have seen things in the past few months that most people never get to see.  Sometimes I feel a little bit like I am in The Twilight Zone, or maybe I'm George Bailey, because I honestly believe I have been given the opportunity to see what life would have looked like if we'd made different choices.  There are still moments of letting go that are difficult, but overall I know we did what was right.  There's no staying here, though.  Turn page, time for another adventure...

L.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

First Day of School 2014...

And so it begins again...
  
Some of us know exactly what grade we're in...
Miah:

Ian:

Caleb:

And some of us...  Well, cut us some slack...  We're homeschoolers...


Grace:
 

Seth:

 Here's to an Awesome School Year:
L.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Whenever Possible...

You should spend the last Saturday before school starts building Lego with your family:




Unless you're me.  Then you might find it more fun to build a bulletin board in your kitchen...  (I did get in on some of the Lego action, though):

L.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Just In Case...

... she ever makes the National Spelling Bee Finals!

I want some proof that we started early...

And I know it's just her name...

I forgot to take a picture of the other words...

L.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

I Try Really Hard...

... to never step on my children.

I have this thing about special days and making sure that they are reserved for the people for whom they were intended.

That's why, in a rare break from my normal protocol, I am posting twice on this day.

Today, it was time for Caleb's 10th birthday party.  And, birthday parties are really important, special days in the life of our family.  I don't want to steal his spotlight... at all...

But today was a big day for me, as well...

Today I graduated from Northwest Nazarene University with my Master's degree in Theology/Spiritual Formation.  And I am proud of myself.  I worked hard.  I finished strong with a 3.85 GPA.  It wasn't easy.  And I am happy.

In my ideal world, I would have been there, in Nampa, to walk across that stage, but let's be real...  most of the time we don't get to live in our ideal worlds...  However, I am feeling blessed beyond measure that NNU has a conscientious faculty who did everything possible to make the commencement activities available, via a live stream, for those of us who couldn't be there in person.

Yesterday, I watched as my name was called at the graduate lunch.  This afternoon, I participated in the baccalaureate service, and late tonight, as I was getting Miah to sleep, I sat down to watch the commencement address.  It was actually a pretty cool feature to fast forward through all the graduates I didn't know, but I did stop to watch my friends from my cohort cross the stage!

The messages in these events were amazing, and at many points I felt that they were just for me.  Let me share a few quotes:

From Dr. Alexander:

"Seek to serve.  Don't spend your life on yourself."

And the next several quotes, from Dr. Schandorff:

"Embrace your real life.  Your real life is the one you're actually living.  Not the one you imagined or even the one you dreamed you might be living.  Your real life does not start tomorrow.

"Build community...  No matter what your mother told you, you are not special.  Today is about you.  Tomorrow needs to be about someone else."
                
"This is not only a call to invest yourself in the lives of others but also a call to allow others to invest their lives in you.  Community happens when gifts are given and received."

"Keep learning.  You are a learner.  Our ongoing education is more about the way we see others than the way we see ourselves.  There is no one in this world from whom you cannot learn something.  The day you decide this is not true is the day you begin to become a smaller, less relevant version of yourself."

"Don't let these years become the best years of your life."

And last, from John Wesley, quoted by Dr. Schandorff:

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, in all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you can" -John Wesley

This is exactly why I am proud to call NNU my Alma Mater...  although, as long as I'm being honest, I wish they would do something about the school song...

L.  M.A.