Happiest Place on Earth

Happiest Place on Earth

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Epic Fail, Mom…

Today it occurred to me that no matter how hard I try, I cannot “protect” my kids from everything. It’s funny, because in recent days Phil and I have been talking about how our oldest two children have been quite sheltered, and we are getting to the point in life where they simply need to know about certain things. For instance… although they do know that words exist that are never to be said, I sincerely doubt they could name more than a couple of them… and those they have happened on by pure accident. Ironically, they know more about where babies come from (as in how they get in there and how they get out) then most of their friends. I think that’s kind of funny, since the other kids can string together whole conversations using swear words… I guess it has a lot to do with what you value teaching your children. In a recent interaction, one of the kids’ friends got mad at another one and called him, “gay”. Man, was he ever offended. And Grace was just shocked, saying, “So what… gay means happy!” And she honestly had no idea whatsoever that there were other possible connotations.

At any rate... This post isn’t about words… or sex… or homosexuality. Not really, anyway… although there are some things we are going to have to bring our kids up to speed on before they start getting mixed messages from their friends who think babies magically pop out of their mommies tummies when the stork arrives…

What this post is really about is Halloween… really…

I am not a huge fan of Halloween. To tell you the honest truth, I get creeped out quite easily, myself. And trick-or-treating… I hate it. I used to love it… until I had kids. I went trick-or-treating myself after I was married… twice. I mean, come on… who doesn’t like free candy, but taking my five children door to door to ask strangers for candy… when it’s dark out… and the streets are busy… It just puts my nerves on edge.

Three years ago, we accidentally missed the night for trick-or-treating (not Halloween, go figure), so we raided Wal-Mart and bought tons of discounted candy with our costumed kids. Two years ago, we went trick-or-treating at Sea World. Now that was fun. Last year we planned a Halloween party, combination family worship event. And that was fun, too. This year we’re repeating. I think I’ve almost got my kids “detoxed” from traditional trick-or-treating… and with it, “detoxed’ from ghosts… and goblins… and witches… and monsters (except of course Mike and Sulley).

So yesterday Seth comes home from art class… and I am always thrilled to see what new project he’s created, so I step out into the kitchen to find two renderings of skeletons. Further, I read the note from his teacher explaining that they have been studying Mexico’s “Day of the Dead”… and so I take a moment to decide whether or not I can deal with this and then give the skeletons (which are pretty cool by the way) a place of honor on the refrigerator.

This is followed by our field trip to experience the orchestra, this morning. My understanding was that we would be hearing music from Star Wars (which my kids aren’t really familiar with, but I love), and so we settle into our front row seats only to realize that we are not going to be enjoying Star Wars but rather Harry Potter, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, ghosts, witches, and even references to demons? Seriously? How the heck did I manage to buy tickets for this one?

In hindsight, maybe I should have marched our little gang out after I realized what was going on. Grace was sunken into her seat, nearly terrified, and Seth was sporting a sour look on his face, matched only by his exclamation, “what a waste of our lives…” Caleb didn’t seem to mind the content too much, but he was bored out of his mind, Ian was running back and forth between me and Grandma, and Miah just clapped at the end of every selection, because she is nearly 7 months old, so when people clap… she claps…

Our dissatisfaction with the program was probably only outdone by the poor little Amish kid sitting behind us…

I left some choice comments on the evaluation form…

When all is said and done, I don’t think this event is really going to have much of an impact on my kids’ lives. But I sure think we could have spent our time more constructively, this morning. And I just keep reminding them that, “Hey… it was really cool when the orchestra played the Star Spangled Banner at the beginning of the concert!” To which Grace replies, “Yeah, Mom… that was the only cool part.”

Live and learn…

Lisa

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