I Do Confess...

Wait for it…

Today was probably the best transition back to school that we have ever had.  I cannot begin to describe the voluminous amount of work the kids accomplished, and somewhere between directing traffic from one computer to another, listening to the sound of the piano, holding Ian in my lap on the kitchen floor as he read, and the smell of fresh, homemade bread baking; I was really happy.

Insert cheesy (pun intended) picture of the day here:

 Very Tasty Homemade Cheesy, Garlic Bread
(I also made white bread and pumpkin bread today!)

If you just took a look at my life for the past five months, you might not imagine that I love being a wife and mom.  Since graduation, I have been in the midst of an almost all consuming (does that make it most consuming) cycle of job searches, applications, and interviews.  If one more person implies that I have no experience or that I’m not qualified for a position, just because I chose to stay home and raise my children and to spend my entire adult life volunteering to help people who no one else wants to be near, they are probably going to see the not so Christian side of me.  But the truth is; I really don’t want a job… I mean, another job…  (I wouldn’t mind, however, if someone wanted to pay me for the roles I currently play).

Oh yeah, I was going to confess…

I sat down briefly, today, at my laptop; checked my e-mail; checked Facebook; and suddenly (and rather silently, since Miah repeats absolutely everything now and we cannot get the word, “stupid,” out of her vocabulary) let out an, “Oh, crap!”  This was when the realization dawned that the kids aren’t the only ones who have to go back to school today.  My class starts, too…

And this is my confession.  I’m in Grad. School… have been since August.

I have kept relatively quiet about it to this point, because I just didn’t want to have to “answer” to anyone for this decision.  To be honest, I’ve probably bitten off more than I can chew, but I do enjoy learning, I’m extremely comfortable in academia, and it’s always nice to rack up another straight A semester.  But I’m worn out, and if I didn’t feel as if I had to stay in school, I probably would have at least taken a break (my first day of class was two days after graduation).  Don’t get me wrong.  I love the program - I am a theology major at N.N.U.  How I ended up there is probably a story for another time – but I’m not particularly looking forward to the 2:00am bedtime… especially with the alarm set for 6:00.

Staying in school keeps the financial aid rolling and postpones the inevitable school loan payments.  In many ways, it is an answer to the prayer, “Give us today our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11), and that’s an interesting concept, since I was baking bread, today, when it started rolling around in my head.  Of course, I could be taking my Scripture out of context, because when I told Ian that, “Man does not live on bread alone,” in an attempt to get him to finish his dinner, Grace reminded me, quickly, that man also does not live on chicken…

L.