Accountability is not what most people think it is…
For some time now, I have been pondering this…
On a fairly regular basis, I hear (or see) people using Matthew 7:1 out of context: “Do not judge or you too will be judged” (NIV).
Let’s look a little deeper into this passage:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:1-5, NIV)
More often than not, people get upset when someone who has no relationship with them and no right, whatsoever, to offer their advice on the way they should be living makes a statement that the former is living in sin and going to Hell. Almost without pause, that first person shouts out something to the effect of, “Well… you’re not so great, either. Don’t you know the Bible tells you not to judge others!” (They may or may not be able to pull the Matthew 7:1 reference). The other person generally gets offensive and offers proof text examples of Jesus calling people out in their sin which, of course, gives us the right to do the same, right?
Maybe not…
Let’s look, strictly at what the passage says, verse by verse…
Again, Matthew 7:1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (NIV). There are actually two concepts going on here. The first, “Do not judge,” appears to be a command of some sort, but it is followed by a consequence, so I think we can assume that the premise is that people do, indeed, judge. You could just as easily say, “Do not eat too much chocolate, or you will get fat.” In reality, the second part of the verse might sum up the concept better than the first. “When you judge, you’re going to be judged, too.” Does this give us unlimited freedom to judge? Uh… no. It doesn’t give us unlimited freedom to eat chocolate, either, but let’s just be clear; both actions result in consequences…
Matthew 7:2 “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (NIV). This verse deals with exactly what those consequences will be. So perhaps we need to think about how we judge others. What if we condemn people to Hell because of their actions? Does it not follow that we also, then, condemn ourselves to Hell? Ouch. What if, instead of assassinating character, we make some discerning choices and go to people with whom we have a relationship and attempt to help them to judge their own actions and then work with them to reconcile their lifestyle to God? I would welcome that kind of judgment in my own life, and isn’t that also what Jesus models?
Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (NIV). This verse calls us to humble living. Although I come from a branch of Christian theology that believes wholeheartedly in holiness and sanctification, let us not forget that to be sanctified is to be set apart; not to live life without error. This is no excuse, whatsoever, for sin, but we absolutely cannot attempt to teach others about holy living without first recognizing our own dependence on the Holy Spirit, cleansing us making us new every day as we choose to follow. Recognition of our own failures is essential to life in Christian community. (As a sidenote, I also am not very fond of people with planks who try to scratch out MYsawdust. Therefore, I cannot expect others to be…)
Matthew 7:4 “How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” (NIV). Preposterous, right? But here’s the thing about that… Many times people recognize their sin and choose to ask God to bless them in it rather than asking Him to eradicate it and fill them with God’s very self. Recognizing sin is not enough. You must deal with it. (And again, I am talking about dealing with your own sin… with my own sin… not with your neighbor’s sin. That would completely miss the point.)
Matthew 7:4 “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (NIV). And now we’re getting somewhere. It is only when you have dealt with your own sin and made things right with God that you have any ability to help your brother. Think about the attitude with which this is done, though…
I often relate theological ideas to my life as a parent. What would I do if one of my children approached me after a long day outside and had sand in his eyes. For the sake of concise writing, let’s say it was Ian. If Ian came into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and crying because they were burning, would I get up in his face and start yelling at him about how irresponsible he is… and how he knows better than to rub sand into his eyes because he’s heard the rules a thousand times… and how he’ll probably be blind unless he figures out on his own how to get it out? Would I then walk away from him in harsh judgment, turning my back and never thinking twice about what the result might be? Would I hold him up as an example to my other children and ridicule him for his bad decisions?
The obvious answer to these questions is no! Any loving parent would not react in this way! Instead, I would bring him to the kitchen sink, wash his face, search his little eyes for any remaining traces of sand, maybe get the eye washing cup out if it was a particularly bad case of sand in the eyes, and even go as far to run him to the ER if the situation was beyond what I could handle. I would hold him and comfort him, and certainly offer ice, because that fixes everything in this house. And quite honestly, when he was OK again, I would go over the rules of sand safety and do everything in my power to help him avoid this kind of trauma in the future.
Could anyone look at that scenario and assert that I was harsh and unloving? I certainly hope not.
But there are some key points that make this work. First of all, I love Ian. We have a relationship. I want, fiercely, to protect him and to teach him things that will help him to grow up happy and healthy in every area of his life. If the same thing happened to a random kid I hardly knew, sure I would get the sand out and make sure he was OK, but the chances that it would be an event that shaped the kid’s life are pretty slim. You have to know and care about someone to make a lasting impact on his life.
Second of all, Ian loves and trusts me. If that aforementioned random kid’s mother was present, I would have no right to take him out of his mother’s arms and administer help as I saw fit. You have to know your place, and the truth is; you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help.
This is particularly hard for me, because I have a super-hero complex. I legitimately want to save the world. But someone far, far greater than me already did that…
Now, it must be noted that there are an awful lot of people out there who say they are looking for accountability, but that’s not really what they’re looking for. Instead, many people are legitimately looking for friends who will back up their decisions and always stand in their corner, regardless of whether or not what they are doing is right. I think this is a human desire. I don’t know anyone who always wants to be the object of scrutiny among friends. But you must be careful if you attempt to mentor such a person, because your effort may be futile… in fact, your effort probably will be futile. Just remember, in these cases, that there is a time to let go…
And also keep in mind that you cannot offer spiritual direction to others very effectively if you do not also take spiritual direction from others… Everyone who aspires to follow Christ must have people who come along beside them to lift them up and help them to work through their own unique set of life issues. That’s being the body…
L.
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